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General Parenting
Self-Esteem, Depression & a Vent
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 78499" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If complimenting upsets her, don't do it. Because a compliment is supposed to make her feel good about herself, and your compliment is doing the opposite. The more you insist, the worse it is. If you can gently say something nice and ignore any reaction totally (try to deflect and move on) then she has at some level had to accept a compliment. Maybe with time you can increase the compliment level as she can tolerate it.</p><p></p><p>Alternatively, you could sit down with her (not at a time when you're trying to compliment - just any time at random) and ask her why she finds this so difficult.</p><p></p><p>As for not helping her change her sheets - I wouldn't either. However, I MIGHT offer to take them from her bedroom door to the laundry, just this once, to speed up the process. Frankly, all she needs to do before friend arrives is get the wet linen into the laundry, she can then be found simply making up her bed as ANY kid should be able to do when it's time to change linen on the bed. If her friend asks, "I wanted fresh sheets, it was time I changed the bed."</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 78499, member: 1991"] If complimenting upsets her, don't do it. Because a compliment is supposed to make her feel good about herself, and your compliment is doing the opposite. The more you insist, the worse it is. If you can gently say something nice and ignore any reaction totally (try to deflect and move on) then she has at some level had to accept a compliment. Maybe with time you can increase the compliment level as she can tolerate it. Alternatively, you could sit down with her (not at a time when you're trying to compliment - just any time at random) and ask her why she finds this so difficult. As for not helping her change her sheets - I wouldn't either. However, I MIGHT offer to take them from her bedroom door to the laundry, just this once, to speed up the process. Frankly, all she needs to do before friend arrives is get the wet linen into the laundry, she can then be found simply making up her bed as ANY kid should be able to do when it's time to change linen on the bed. If her friend asks, "I wanted fresh sheets, it was time I changed the bed." Marg [/QUOTE]
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