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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 78533" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Marg - we have had that conversation, both alone and in family therapy and she does acknowledge that she likes to hear the compliments even if she gets hostile at the time. She has asked that we keep telling her the good things and she is working on saying "thank you". It is the intentional sabotage that we will be discussing at our next family therapy session.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sara - Why do our kids do many of the things they do? Most of their behaviors are irrational and self-defeating. (For a non-difficult child, I'd agree with you that it is likely something they can't control.)</p><p></p><p>Kanga has peed on herself on purpose on and off for years. When she was younger, if we put her in timeout, she'd pee on herself to try and get out of timeout. She said just the other day that she woke up, had to pee but because she left her window open and her room was cold, she DECIDED to just pee the bed and clean it up in the morning, but in the morning she 'forgot' to change the sheets. She has taken the plastic cover off her mattress several times and we replaced her mattress once because we couldn't get the smell out. </p><p></p><p>She also had 30 minutes to change her sheets, shower, etc. but she laid back down on the wet sheets cause she was 'too tired' and created the time crunch herself. </p><p></p><p>She has been on the same medications for 9 months and the bed wetting only started up again this summer -- after several years of being dry. </p><p></p><p>And for the record, football and men's basketball are revenue sports and as such they do have poor students that play because it makes money for the universities. All athletes -- even football and basketball -- must pass the NCAA Clearinghouse (to play D1)and right now Kanga's grades would not pass the Clearinghouse. Kanga plays in the top rated Elite league in the country for her (nonrevenue) sport. They have mandatory annual meetings where college coaches tell them that if they don't have at least a C average, that they don't even bother with them -- a very rare exception would be a future Olympian-level player (which Kanga is not). The league requires her to turn in her report cards and she can face consequences for continued poor grades. </p><p></p><p>Can you tell that I am still steaming?! She still hasn't changed the sheets and her friend has been here for 2 hours! I'm not letting anyone play upstairs so that her friend doesn't find out but how hard is it to put the sheet in the special hamper we have for wet sheets???</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 78533, member: 1169"] Marg - we have had that conversation, both alone and in family therapy and she does acknowledge that she likes to hear the compliments even if she gets hostile at the time. She has asked that we keep telling her the good things and she is working on saying "thank you". It is the intentional sabotage that we will be discussing at our next family therapy session. Sara - Why do our kids do many of the things they do? Most of their behaviors are irrational and self-defeating. (For a non-difficult child, I'd agree with you that it is likely something they can't control.) Kanga has peed on herself on purpose on and off for years. When she was younger, if we put her in timeout, she'd pee on herself to try and get out of timeout. She said just the other day that she woke up, had to pee but because she left her window open and her room was cold, she DECIDED to just pee the bed and clean it up in the morning, but in the morning she 'forgot' to change the sheets. She has taken the plastic cover off her mattress several times and we replaced her mattress once because we couldn't get the smell out. She also had 30 minutes to change her sheets, shower, etc. but she laid back down on the wet sheets cause she was 'too tired' and created the time crunch herself. She has been on the same medications for 9 months and the bed wetting only started up again this summer -- after several years of being dry. And for the record, football and men's basketball are revenue sports and as such they do have poor students that play because it makes money for the universities. All athletes -- even football and basketball -- must pass the NCAA Clearinghouse (to play D1)and right now Kanga's grades would not pass the Clearinghouse. Kanga plays in the top rated Elite league in the country for her (nonrevenue) sport. They have mandatory annual meetings where college coaches tell them that if they don't have at least a C average, that they don't even bother with them -- a very rare exception would be a future Olympian-level player (which Kanga is not). The league requires her to turn in her report cards and she can face consequences for continued poor grades. Can you tell that I am still steaming?! She still hasn't changed the sheets and her friend has been here for 2 hours! I'm not letting anyone play upstairs so that her friend doesn't find out but how hard is it to put the sheet in the special hamper we have for wet sheets??? [/QUOTE]
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