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Self preservation or just plain Selfish!?!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 605414" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Count me in on the oldies (60 next week) who have become more selfish as I get older. Most of us have sacrificed for our kids in every way possible, yet all of us have been burned by that in some way or we wouldn't be on this site. I just feel like the golden years should be more for us to finally get to do for ourselves. Enjoy our partners all over again, if we are married. Not to mention, I've known kids who are waiting for their parents to die just to get their money. </p><p></p><p> Heck, I've seen sad situations where kids care more about which siblings get the money than the memories of the deceased parent. This may sound weird, but because we have no extra money, at least I feel ok knowing that my kids (the ones who are kind to me) are loving because they truly care and not because they want a big piece of the pie. I know 35 is not a big fan of his father's, but he has no problem taking $50K from him for his custody battle. And he'll be very nice to him to his face because of his money.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If I did have some money, I'd probably make sure everyone got a bit of it. But I wouldn't stop living because I felt the need to support the next generation. My grandmother was self-sacrificing and a Depression mother. She lived in an apartment and never traveled her entire life. They bought old cars. She did this to have enough money to give to her two kids. I thought it was nutty, but it was what she wanted to do and that's ok too. In the end, my mom and grandma's very last encounter was screaming at one another with my mom accusing her of "favoring" my uncle. Mom was in her 60's and Grandma was 82. So what good was the money after all that resentment?</p><p></p><p>Sounds like your mom is a bit on the selfish side, but so what? Lots of Babyboomers take better care of themselves physically than the old stereotypical grandmas who let themselves go and didn't care how they looked and lived life to cook, spoil the grandchildren, and help their grown kids. Older folks can be more independent now and I think that's a good thing. Don't get me wrong...I am nothing like your mother and I do think she is selfish. I just think it's kind of common these days. And people live so much longer...if she ever needs assisted living...she will have money to pay for it. That's a real burden off of you!!!! </p><p></p><p>JMO <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 605414, member: 1550"] Count me in on the oldies (60 next week) who have become more selfish as I get older. Most of us have sacrificed for our kids in every way possible, yet all of us have been burned by that in some way or we wouldn't be on this site. I just feel like the golden years should be more for us to finally get to do for ourselves. Enjoy our partners all over again, if we are married. Not to mention, I've known kids who are waiting for their parents to die just to get their money. Heck, I've seen sad situations where kids care more about which siblings get the money than the memories of the deceased parent. This may sound weird, but because we have no extra money, at least I feel ok knowing that my kids (the ones who are kind to me) are loving because they truly care and not because they want a big piece of the pie. I know 35 is not a big fan of his father's, but he has no problem taking $50K from him for his custody battle. And he'll be very nice to him to his face because of his money. If I did have some money, I'd probably make sure everyone got a bit of it. But I wouldn't stop living because I felt the need to support the next generation. My grandmother was self-sacrificing and a Depression mother. She lived in an apartment and never traveled her entire life. They bought old cars. She did this to have enough money to give to her two kids. I thought it was nutty, but it was what she wanted to do and that's ok too. In the end, my mom and grandma's very last encounter was screaming at one another with my mom accusing her of "favoring" my uncle. Mom was in her 60's and Grandma was 82. So what good was the money after all that resentment? Sounds like your mom is a bit on the selfish side, but so what? Lots of Babyboomers take better care of themselves physically than the old stereotypical grandmas who let themselves go and didn't care how they looked and lived life to cook, spoil the grandchildren, and help their grown kids. Older folks can be more independent now and I think that's a good thing. Don't get me wrong...I am nothing like your mother and I do think she is selfish. I just think it's kind of common these days. And people live so much longer...if she ever needs assisted living...she will have money to pay for it. That's a real burden off of you!!!! JMO :) [/QUOTE]
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