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<blockquote data-quote="TPaul" data-source="post: 316853" data-attributes="member: 8055"><p>Thanks everyone for the input. I will try to answer some of the questions and clarify a few points.</p><p> </p><p>wife has taken on the second job, because after her binge spending is done she has used all her cash up from that pay period. In her mind, the only answer was another job. She normally does not make big purchases, but spends it all on lots of this and that. We made do for years on a small income till the kids got in school and I was able to be out of bed and able to work again. That has helped her to not seek big ticket items. A plus I know, and thankful for it.</p><p> </p><p>I work part time at the antique mall where I have my booths. Three hours 5 days a week and many times a full 8 hours on Saturday. I have 4 booths in the mall as well as filling in with the owners booth where we make themed displays. I have to find items to sell, clean them, research some items, price them, stock the booths, fill in where items have sold. My booths are all done with a decorated style to fit the type of items. I have started a staging and interior decorating service in addition to the above. With it all I work approx. 10 hours a day or so. Some days less, some a little more. Because I do not make set number of dollars for each of these above task, in wife mind they are not the same as a kind of job like she has. Funny though, I make more than she has made up till now and if my decorating jobs hold up, I will probably still make more than she will make with the two jobs she has. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/surprise.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":surprise:" title="surprise :surprise:" data-shortname=":surprise:" /></p><p> </p><p>We are doing better financially than we have in years, but do not have the additional income to hire someone to come into the home. Maybe in a year or so, but just could not swing it right now. </p><p> </p><p>I am the one that worries about having the house clean. It does not bother her the way it bothers me. That was how she was raised </p><p>sadly. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /> I do make the kids help me every evening when I get home. The problem that I have with assigning the chores is that Mom does not get on board and make sure that the chores are done consistently when I am not there, or get in later. She will say she wants them to do chores, has even made charts up a few times, but never every sticks with it more than a week. It is hard with two different sets of motivation for the kids to find a steady way to do things. The years of up and down, topsy turvy, wild ride with wife I know keeps them in a mixed state of emotions. </p><p> </p><p>Someone commented on her not wanting to be home. I think that is true. With all five kids home, she is instantly stressed out and loud and grumpy-angry. On the one day that she gets the kids up for school, usually monday, there is yelling, screaming from her at the kids every time. Same thing after school if she and they are both home together. I have only occasional trouble in the mornings, and usually with the oldest early hormone 12 year old daughter. Things run pretty smoothly besides that.</p><p>I think because of the BiPolar (BP) she can not deal with the pressures and pulls of motherhood and wifedom, LOL, that are required of her while at home. At work she has a set way that everything is done. On of the is a 10pm-8am home health job, where those in the home are asleep so there is not alot required of her for many of the hours she is there. At the other home there is always 2 people there, to take care of the 4 residents of the home. She has help with the feeding, bathing, etc so it is easier to be at work than to take care of her home and family.</p><p> </p><p>Again thanks for all the post. Just typing about it, helped relieve the built up steam and stress. I talked to my oldest daughter this morning and she has agreed to help more with the laundry, in exchange for a bit more allowance. If she will stick to this, that will help a great deal. I am thinking about getting rid of all the plates, bowls, cups, glasses, etc... and using disposable instead, <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smug.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":smug:" title="smug :smug:" data-shortname=":smug:" /> No need to wash those puppies, LOL!!! The other plates and glasses, even silverware tend to disappear mysteriously around here anyway. </p><p> </p><p>A lighter burdened </p><p>Tpaul</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TPaul, post: 316853, member: 8055"] Thanks everyone for the input. I will try to answer some of the questions and clarify a few points. wife has taken on the second job, because after her binge spending is done she has used all her cash up from that pay period. In her mind, the only answer was another job. She normally does not make big purchases, but spends it all on lots of this and that. We made do for years on a small income till the kids got in school and I was able to be out of bed and able to work again. That has helped her to not seek big ticket items. A plus I know, and thankful for it. I work part time at the antique mall where I have my booths. Three hours 5 days a week and many times a full 8 hours on Saturday. I have 4 booths in the mall as well as filling in with the owners booth where we make themed displays. I have to find items to sell, clean them, research some items, price them, stock the booths, fill in where items have sold. My booths are all done with a decorated style to fit the type of items. I have started a staging and interior decorating service in addition to the above. With it all I work approx. 10 hours a day or so. Some days less, some a little more. Because I do not make set number of dollars for each of these above task, in wife mind they are not the same as a kind of job like she has. Funny though, I make more than she has made up till now and if my decorating jobs hold up, I will probably still make more than she will make with the two jobs she has. :surprised1: We are doing better financially than we have in years, but do not have the additional income to hire someone to come into the home. Maybe in a year or so, but just could not swing it right now. I am the one that worries about having the house clean. It does not bother her the way it bothers me. That was how she was raised sadly. :sad-very: I do make the kids help me every evening when I get home. The problem that I have with assigning the chores is that Mom does not get on board and make sure that the chores are done consistently when I am not there, or get in later. She will say she wants them to do chores, has even made charts up a few times, but never every sticks with it more than a week. It is hard with two different sets of motivation for the kids to find a steady way to do things. The years of up and down, topsy turvy, wild ride with wife I know keeps them in a mixed state of emotions. Someone commented on her not wanting to be home. I think that is true. With all five kids home, she is instantly stressed out and loud and grumpy-angry. On the one day that she gets the kids up for school, usually monday, there is yelling, screaming from her at the kids every time. Same thing after school if she and they are both home together. I have only occasional trouble in the mornings, and usually with the oldest early hormone 12 year old daughter. Things run pretty smoothly besides that. I think because of the BiPolar (BP) she can not deal with the pressures and pulls of motherhood and wifedom, LOL, that are required of her while at home. At work she has a set way that everything is done. On of the is a 10pm-8am home health job, where those in the home are asleep so there is not alot required of her for many of the hours she is there. At the other home there is always 2 people there, to take care of the 4 residents of the home. She has help with the feeding, bathing, etc so it is easier to be at work than to take care of her home and family. Again thanks for all the post. Just typing about it, helped relieve the built up steam and stress. I talked to my oldest daughter this morning and she has agreed to help more with the laundry, in exchange for a bit more allowance. If she will stick to this, that will help a great deal. I am thinking about getting rid of all the plates, bowls, cups, glasses, etc... and using disposable instead, :smart: No need to wash those puppies, LOL!!! The other plates and glasses, even silverware tend to disappear mysteriously around here anyway. A lighter burdened Tpaul [/QUOTE]
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