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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 316958" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: royalblue">I only have two kids, 3 pups, and an H, and there are times when I look forward to Monday so I can go back to work! I feel for you, I really do, and I also know that your wife's behavior sounds exactly like she is overwhelmed by her household responsibilities...yet doesn't seem to know or doesn't want to know how to change things. That leaves you and the kids.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: royalblue">I like the flylady a lot. There is a lot of organizational methods she offers that would suit your home. There is also a lot that she suggests that you can ignore. Tackling one room or area a day is a great idea. Also, allowing your kids rooms to 'go' once in a while is not a big deal, really - just close the door. As long as there is no food or beverages allowed outside the kitchen, the rooms can be messy in my humble opinion without much damage.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: royalblue">Can you schedule a whole day and rent a dumpster? Do it and have a cleaning out day where everyone cleans out and tosses anything they haven't worn or played with in 6 months. Get rid of junk and old **** that has been tucked in corners or hidden away for later. If it's not being used and it's not worth selling, dump it. Once your home is free from clutter, it will be easier to maintain. Try to put aside sentimentalities and just toss it! If you must save old junk, organize a spot in your shed or garage and build some shelves to store it. But mostly, clear out spaces like your living room and kitchen, hallways, closets and cabinets and bedrooms of all the clutter. My mother likely had BiPolar (BP) and was a packrat and a compulsive shopper. We'd go without a decent dinner for weeks so she could re-landscape her favorite corner of the yard, really. We ate rice and beans so she could afford a built in pool. She saved old newspapers and old toys from our childhood; she collected what she called 'heirlooms' that sold at tag sales and flea markets. We had 4 couches growing up and they were all in the same room because she liked them and wanted to provide more seating for visitors. She never consulted with my dad about any of these expenditures! Seriously, I get where you're coming from.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: royalblue">ALL of your kids are old enough to be assigned a task or two per day per week. The littlest could be in charge of dusting and emptying the small waste baskets in bedrooms and bathrooms. She and the next oldest could also be in charge of cleaning bathrooms twice weekly. The older two could be in charge of meal prep and cleaning the kitchen - they take turns every other day. And the middle one could be in charge of taking out garbage and sweeping or vacuuming every other day. Divvy up the chores and then divide them between the kids. Having each of the five kids take turns in the kitchen, in my opinion, is a mistake - it is too much to keep track of. Dividing the kitchen chores between only two kids makes it easier to track, Know what I mean?? If need be, create a simple chart and put it up on the fridge for each day so there is no confusion. When my kids were little this worked, as they grew older, they would often trade jobs and as long as it was done I didn't care. And it didn't have to be perfect. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: royalblue">Get rid of your washer and dryer. Sell them or donate them. Make a once weekly trip to the laundrymat. Your laundry is washed, dried and folded within an hour or two because you're using multiple machines at once, rather than waiting for each load to complete a cycle before moving onto the next load. It's faster and easier. Each person gets their own hamper or basket. No one can go out or have a snack until all their clothes are put away. This worked for us when I was a kid (family of 7 also!). Every Sunday morning, it was laundry time. It wasn't until the oldest 3 were moved out that my parents bought a washer/dryer again.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #4169e1">Whatever you do, you need to create a system and stick with it, with or without wife's blessing or agreement. I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed and miserable about these things - hugs to you and yours. I hope you find a way to make things work.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 316958, member: 2211"] [SIZE=4][COLOR=royalblue]I only have two kids, 3 pups, and an H, and there are times when I look forward to Monday so I can go back to work! I feel for you, I really do, and I also know that your wife's behavior sounds exactly like she is overwhelmed by her household responsibilities...yet doesn't seem to know or doesn't want to know how to change things. That leaves you and the kids.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=royalblue]I like the flylady a lot. There is a lot of organizational methods she offers that would suit your home. There is also a lot that she suggests that you can ignore. Tackling one room or area a day is a great idea. Also, allowing your kids rooms to 'go' once in a while is not a big deal, really - just close the door. As long as there is no food or beverages allowed outside the kitchen, the rooms can be messy in my humble opinion without much damage.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=royalblue]Can you schedule a whole day and rent a dumpster? Do it and have a cleaning out day where everyone cleans out and tosses anything they haven't worn or played with in 6 months. Get rid of junk and old **** that has been tucked in corners or hidden away for later. If it's not being used and it's not worth selling, dump it. Once your home is free from clutter, it will be easier to maintain. Try to put aside sentimentalities and just toss it! If you must save old junk, organize a spot in your shed or garage and build some shelves to store it. But mostly, clear out spaces like your living room and kitchen, hallways, closets and cabinets and bedrooms of all the clutter. My mother likely had BiPolar (BP) and was a packrat and a compulsive shopper. We'd go without a decent dinner for weeks so she could re-landscape her favorite corner of the yard, really. We ate rice and beans so she could afford a built in pool. She saved old newspapers and old toys from our childhood; she collected what she called 'heirlooms' that sold at tag sales and flea markets. We had 4 couches growing up and they were all in the same room because she liked them and wanted to provide more seating for visitors. She never consulted with my dad about any of these expenditures! Seriously, I get where you're coming from.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=royalblue]ALL of your kids are old enough to be assigned a task or two per day per week. The littlest could be in charge of dusting and emptying the small waste baskets in bedrooms and bathrooms. She and the next oldest could also be in charge of cleaning bathrooms twice weekly. The older two could be in charge of meal prep and cleaning the kitchen - they take turns every other day. And the middle one could be in charge of taking out garbage and sweeping or vacuuming every other day. Divvy up the chores and then divide them between the kids. Having each of the five kids take turns in the kitchen, in my opinion, is a mistake - it is too much to keep track of. Dividing the kitchen chores between only two kids makes it easier to track, Know what I mean?? If need be, create a simple chart and put it up on the fridge for each day so there is no confusion. When my kids were little this worked, as they grew older, they would often trade jobs and as long as it was done I didn't care. And it didn't have to be perfect. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=royalblue]Get rid of your washer and dryer. Sell them or donate them. Make a once weekly trip to the laundrymat. Your laundry is washed, dried and folded within an hour or two because you're using multiple machines at once, rather than waiting for each load to complete a cycle before moving onto the next load. It's faster and easier. Each person gets their own hamper or basket. No one can go out or have a snack until all their clothes are put away. This worked for us when I was a kid (family of 7 also!). Every Sunday morning, it was laundry time. It wasn't until the oldest 3 were moved out that my parents bought a washer/dryer again.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=#4169e1][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=#4169e1]Whatever you do, you need to create a system and stick with it, with or without wife's blessing or agreement. I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed and miserable about these things - hugs to you and yours. I hope you find a way to make things work.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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