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Separating self worth from difficult child's perception of one's self...food for thought...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 503641"><p>This was the lesson husband and I learned. It is a hard lesson. A lot of this is simple behavioral modification. Yes, we do them a disservice when we give them attention or power when they don't deserve it. We only engage our difficult child when she acts appropriately and we have set up lots of limits and boundaries (and insist that she follow them)</p><p>Sometimes things are a little confusing because she has a diagnosis'd mental illness AND some physical concerns. But we still expect her to act respectfully to us at ALL times and to NOT break the law. Such things will immediately cause us to disengage. Crossing myself and lighting a candle, but recently we have noticed more consistent improvement in her attitude and behaviors. It's so hard to let go sometimes. But I had reached a point that I really had to turn it over to my Higher Power. I know it helped my self worth A LOT when I learned to let her "stuff" go in one ear and out the other and to get busy with my own needs and desires. Sending good thoughts to you Signorina! You are on the right track and you can do this! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 503641"] This was the lesson husband and I learned. It is a hard lesson. A lot of this is simple behavioral modification. Yes, we do them a disservice when we give them attention or power when they don't deserve it. We only engage our difficult child when she acts appropriately and we have set up lots of limits and boundaries (and insist that she follow them) Sometimes things are a little confusing because she has a diagnosis'd mental illness AND some physical concerns. But we still expect her to act respectfully to us at ALL times and to NOT break the law. Such things will immediately cause us to disengage. Crossing myself and lighting a candle, but recently we have noticed more consistent improvement in her attitude and behaviors. It's so hard to let go sometimes. But I had reached a point that I really had to turn it over to my Higher Power. I know it helped my self worth A LOT when I learned to let her "stuff" go in one ear and out the other and to get busy with my own needs and desires. Sending good thoughts to you Signorina! You are on the right track and you can do this! :) [/QUOTE]
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Separating self worth from difficult child's perception of one's self...food for thought...
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