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Separating self worth from difficult child's perception of one's self...food for thought...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 503750" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Signorina, Thank you for saying that, I appreciate your words so much. It helps me. Yes, I am raising her daughter too, so this (possible) healing may be a beginning for all of us. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I too hope your son comes around soon, it is so hurtful to be the target of their rage, blame and ugly words. I'm sorry you're dealing with that, my heart goes out to you, as it does to all the parents who post here, we are a beleaguered bunch of tired parents who've all been through the mill, a few times (for me a <u>few hundred</u> times!!) One of the nice thoughts for me is that as someone older whose been going through this for so long, my hope is that my experience can assist others who can perhaps learn from my mistakes and not have to go down so many of the futile paths I've taken. I wish I had found all the support I have now a long time ago, and found the knowledge about codependency, enabling, rescuing, that I have now, but it is what it is, I guess I found it when I was ready to hear it and use it. I see how those of us who are such givers often don't do so well at receiving, at allowing help in, and that certainly kept me stuck longer. Support, therapy, knowledge, feeling as if I am not alone, all has helped to heal my own heart, so that I could begin the journey of healing my connection with my daughter. And, sometimes, I believe that healing is separating from them if they are toxic to us. I don't know where all of this will lead us, as they say in the 12 steps, one day at a time. I am so moved by all the stories I read here, so many of us trying so hard to do the right thing by our children, when the irony is, we often have to let them go and allow them to fail, to fall, to suffer the consequences of their bad choices and bad behavior. And, concentrate on taking care of ourselves. For me, I have had to learn to love myself enough, to take care of me first, to set the boundary strong enough to make sure that I am respected and honored. What a concept! Bravo to all you wonderful warriors! God Bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 503750, member: 13542"] Hi Signorina, Thank you for saying that, I appreciate your words so much. It helps me. Yes, I am raising her daughter too, so this (possible) healing may be a beginning for all of us. Yes, I too hope your son comes around soon, it is so hurtful to be the target of their rage, blame and ugly words. I'm sorry you're dealing with that, my heart goes out to you, as it does to all the parents who post here, we are a beleaguered bunch of tired parents who've all been through the mill, a few times (for me a [U]few hundred[/U] times!!) One of the nice thoughts for me is that as someone older whose been going through this for so long, my hope is that my experience can assist others who can perhaps learn from my mistakes and not have to go down so many of the futile paths I've taken. I wish I had found all the support I have now a long time ago, and found the knowledge about codependency, enabling, rescuing, that I have now, but it is what it is, I guess I found it when I was ready to hear it and use it. I see how those of us who are such givers often don't do so well at receiving, at allowing help in, and that certainly kept me stuck longer. Support, therapy, knowledge, feeling as if I am not alone, all has helped to heal my own heart, so that I could begin the journey of healing my connection with my daughter. And, sometimes, I believe that healing is separating from them if they are toxic to us. I don't know where all of this will lead us, as they say in the 12 steps, one day at a time. I am so moved by all the stories I read here, so many of us trying so hard to do the right thing by our children, when the irony is, we often have to let them go and allow them to fail, to fall, to suffer the consequences of their bad choices and bad behavior. And, concentrate on taking care of ourselves. For me, I have had to learn to love myself enough, to take care of me first, to set the boundary strong enough to make sure that I am respected and honored. What a concept! Bravo to all you wonderful warriors! God Bless. [/QUOTE]
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Separating self worth from difficult child's perception of one's self...food for thought...
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