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The Watercooler
Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 160003"><p>Star...I really have enjoyed reading and learning from your posts. The "martian" concept is great.</p><p> </p><p>Wanted to ask though...</p><p>You don't think training should be provided on how a family might cope within a society that treats families that are "different" with fear or even disdain? </p><p> </p><p>I know it isn't the perfect analogy, but we found it very hard to explain to difficult child that when people called her "fat" that it was THEIR problem and THEIR issue and to ignore their stupid remarks. In time, she improved...but it still got to her self esteem. Especially during periods of time when it was happening a lot...perhaps 5th through 9th grades. In her case, if someone in class didn't like her, they looked for a difference in her appearance and let her "have it" with both barrels. There were times the teachers didn't even help and I had to intervene. I had to "train" some of them to be sensitive/appropriate/fair/decent. Anyway...there were times I felt that I needed to get some professional advice on how to cope with having a special needs child and the reactions of society to her difference. I had to help her as well. Honestly, it was a real SHOCK/surprise to me that our society is so judgmental...and sometimes beyond that...downright CRUEL. I thought things had IMPROVED. </p><p>Anyway...that is where I'm coming from when I say"training," not training on another person's culture. </p><p> </p><p>So...if you are adopting a child of another race, it seems to me that you might encounter difficulties at some point. Your child could very well encounter difficulties and I know if it were me, it would be nice to know how to appropriately cope/handle folks who are mean spirited.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 160003"] Star...I really have enjoyed reading and learning from your posts. The "martian" concept is great. Wanted to ask though... You don't think training should be provided on how a family might cope within a society that treats families that are "different" with fear or even disdain? I know it isn't the perfect analogy, but we found it very hard to explain to difficult child that when people called her "fat" that it was THEIR problem and THEIR issue and to ignore their stupid remarks. In time, she improved...but it still got to her self esteem. Especially during periods of time when it was happening a lot...perhaps 5th through 9th grades. In her case, if someone in class didn't like her, they looked for a difference in her appearance and let her "have it" with both barrels. There were times the teachers didn't even help and I had to intervene. I had to "train" some of them to be sensitive/appropriate/fair/decent. Anyway...there were times I felt that I needed to get some professional advice on how to cope with having a special needs child and the reactions of society to her difference. I had to help her as well. Honestly, it was a real SHOCK/surprise to me that our society is so judgmental...and sometimes beyond that...downright CRUEL. I thought things had IMPROVED. Anyway...that is where I'm coming from when I say"training," not training on another person's culture. So...if you are adopting a child of another race, it seems to me that you might encounter difficulties at some point. Your child could very well encounter difficulties and I know if it were me, it would be nice to know how to appropriately cope/handle folks who are mean spirited. [/QUOTE]
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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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