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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 160112" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Nomad - </p><p></p><p>You are welcome. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/alien.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":alien:" title="alien :alien:" data-shortname=":alien:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>As far as trying to teach a child to defend herself against the cruelty in the world? I think that could be helped with a parenting or bullying class. Not a heritage thing. Genetically she could be heavy because obesity runs in her genes - but that isn't the type of heritage they are talking about, and the type that they ARE talking about may be important to a child if they were being raised in a specific ethnic culture on a day to day basis. </p><p></p><p>To answer your other question. Do I think parents (any parents) need parenting classes? Sure. Why not? Anything new to someone is going to require some amount of knowledge to be successful - but exactly WHAT is it these people want you to understand about your adopted child? </p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like this group wants to be sure that anyone adopting a child that is not the same race as the child is forced to take a heritage class. Adoption can be complicated and they are further seeking to make it MORE complicated. </p><p></p><p>If you have parents that are open to adopting any child - then I bet they are open enough to help that child with any questions they would have about their race - which ever one it is. And unless you are a history buff MOST of us (whatever nationalities we are) can't go down through our own history and spout more than a few famous historical figures. </p><p></p><p>You can teach me about a heritage other than the environment I'm being brought up in, but we all are products of our environment - and unless you're living day in day out in that culture those lessons and ways probably aren't going to make a life-changing impact on you. Like I said - I've been a Martian for nearly 43 years - had they told me at 12 that I was from Neptune I would still behave like a Martian because I was raised in a loving Martian home. </p><p></p><p>And what gets me the MOST???? This group can't see the forest for the trees, spout how unjust mixed family adoption is but put more effort into further complicating the situation for parents who are WILLING to adopt and GET kids out of foster care when they should be spending their time soliciting those parents that they WANT to have adopt. And if you are pro adoption and anti-foster care, but have a problem with mixed adoptions aren't you really in essence being a bigot yourself? Parents who adopt a child need ALL the help they can get not criticism. Adoptees are WANTED children. </p><p></p><p> If they are upset because the majority of their race is not adopting, and a different race steps up and says I don't care about color I just want a baby - that should be good enough, they make it sound like it would sorta be better if everyone stopped adopting children that looked nothing like them and left them in foster care with parents who MAYBE looked like them. Want to see something amazing? Just GO to an orphanage and ask the kids who cares what color their parents are. They don't care - they just want a family. ANY family that will love them and give them a little more extra than the love they get in an orphanage. Instead of getting 1% of 15 to 1 odds - they get a Mom or Dad or Both and NOW get 1% of 1 or 1% of 2 - I think orphans are math geniuses. </p><p></p><p>I may write this group a letter yet. Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 160112, member: 4964"] Nomad - You are welcome. :alien: As far as trying to teach a child to defend herself against the cruelty in the world? I think that could be helped with a parenting or bullying class. Not a heritage thing. Genetically she could be heavy because obesity runs in her genes - but that isn't the type of heritage they are talking about, and the type that they ARE talking about may be important to a child if they were being raised in a specific ethnic culture on a day to day basis. To answer your other question. Do I think parents (any parents) need parenting classes? Sure. Why not? Anything new to someone is going to require some amount of knowledge to be successful - but exactly WHAT is it these people want you to understand about your adopted child? It sounds to me like this group wants to be sure that anyone adopting a child that is not the same race as the child is forced to take a heritage class. Adoption can be complicated and they are further seeking to make it MORE complicated. If you have parents that are open to adopting any child - then I bet they are open enough to help that child with any questions they would have about their race - which ever one it is. And unless you are a history buff MOST of us (whatever nationalities we are) can't go down through our own history and spout more than a few famous historical figures. You can teach me about a heritage other than the environment I'm being brought up in, but we all are products of our environment - and unless you're living day in day out in that culture those lessons and ways probably aren't going to make a life-changing impact on you. Like I said - I've been a Martian for nearly 43 years - had they told me at 12 that I was from Neptune I would still behave like a Martian because I was raised in a loving Martian home. And what gets me the MOST???? This group can't see the forest for the trees, spout how unjust mixed family adoption is but put more effort into further complicating the situation for parents who are WILLING to adopt and GET kids out of foster care when they should be spending their time soliciting those parents that they WANT to have adopt. And if you are pro adoption and anti-foster care, but have a problem with mixed adoptions aren't you really in essence being a bigot yourself? Parents who adopt a child need ALL the help they can get not criticism. Adoptees are WANTED children. If they are upset because the majority of their race is not adopting, and a different race steps up and says I don't care about color I just want a baby - that should be good enough, they make it sound like it would sorta be better if everyone stopped adopting children that looked nothing like them and left them in foster care with parents who MAYBE looked like them. Want to see something amazing? Just GO to an orphanage and ask the kids who cares what color their parents are. They don't care - they just want a family. ANY family that will love them and give them a little more extra than the love they get in an orphanage. Instead of getting 1% of 15 to 1 odds - they get a Mom or Dad or Both and NOW get 1% of 1 or 1% of 2 - I think orphans are math geniuses. I may write this group a letter yet. Star [/QUOTE]
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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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