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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar I" data-source="post: 47288" data-attributes="member: 3755"><p>Our difficult child is thirty-one now ~ soon to be thirty-two. I was reading through RM's and hearthope's posts this morning, and remembering back to what it felt like to parent difficult child as an adolescent and then, as a young adult and now....</p><p></p><p>What is there to say about all this, now.</p><p></p><p>The thing I wanted to say this morning has to do with acknowledging the shame I felt, going through this.</p><p></p><p>I never even questioned it. I had failed, and I didn't know why. I felt stupid and ineffectual and...goofy.</p><p></p><p>And it is really only now, as I begin to recover some concept of self, that I realize how traumatic this has all been.</p><p></p><p>For years and years, every minute, every day and every night.</p><p></p><p>I wonder how much worse it would all have been without the Serenity Prayer?</p><p></p><p>I remember all those long nights when that was all I had.</p><p></p><p>I have come through this far enough to see where I have been. Each of you will come through it, too.</p><p></p><p>I suffered, as you are suffering now.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying I would have given up sooner, or accepted things sooner, or that I would have done one thing differently than I did.</p><p></p><p>What I am saying is that before we can heal from it, we need to be able to say those words so that we can move beyond that place.</p><p></p><p>It really is shocking to see the difference, in both husband and myself, since difficult child has not lived here at home for over a year, now.</p><p></p><p>And since we have made the decision to "let that pony ride".</p><p></p><p>Wasn't it you, Ponygirl, who came up with that phrase?</p><p></p><p>Let that pony ride....</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar I, post: 47288, member: 3755"] Our difficult child is thirty-one now ~ soon to be thirty-two. I was reading through RM's and hearthope's posts this morning, and remembering back to what it felt like to parent difficult child as an adolescent and then, as a young adult and now.... What is there to say about all this, now. The thing I wanted to say this morning has to do with acknowledging the shame I felt, going through this. I never even questioned it. I had failed, and I didn't know why. I felt stupid and ineffectual and...goofy. And it is really only now, as I begin to recover some concept of self, that I realize how traumatic this has all been. For years and years, every minute, every day and every night. I wonder how much worse it would all have been without the Serenity Prayer? I remember all those long nights when that was all I had. I have come through this far enough to see where I have been. Each of you will come through it, too. I suffered, as you are suffering now. I am not saying I would have given up sooner, or accepted things sooner, or that I would have done one thing differently than I did. What I am saying is that before we can heal from it, we need to be able to say those words so that we can move beyond that place. It really is shocking to see the difference, in both husband and myself, since difficult child has not lived here at home for over a year, now. And since we have made the decision to "let that pony ride". Wasn't it you, Ponygirl, who came up with that phrase? Let that pony ride.... Barbara [/QUOTE]
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