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She was raped!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 258885" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm so sorry you are hurting like this. You need to get help for you, fast. Get to your doctor, stop waiting by the phone because if it's important you'll still find out, someone will call back or go roundto see you or leave a message. But go get help. You're no good to anyoone if you have a stroke or end up in hospital yourself.</p><p></p><p>What about your son? How is he in all thi? He must be feeling so angry, so afraid and so hurt.</p><p></p><p>she cannot be rescued. she must rescue herself. All plans to charge to the rescue and drag her off the streets - these are most unlikely to work, especially since she has a pimp who will come after her, even if, by some total miracle, she makes the decision herself to go clean and straight. Like, she had the chance before to go clean and straight, BEFORE it got to this, and she still chose to head for thestreets? Now she has someone who has a financial interest in her, he won't let her go so easily. Getting HIM off the streets would be the priority and frankly that is a job for the cops, not for civilians.</p><p></p><p>I am so, so sorry, but NOBODY can step in and rescue this girl. She is not a baby, she is an adult (in the eyes of the law). You COULD try to get extended custody, but while you still had it, did it make any difference? What could you do with it now?</p><p></p><p>What you MUST do is look after her mother. If/when your daughter "sees the light" then she will need YOU in one piece, healthy and ready to help her find her way back. But SHE has to do this, all you can do (I know it's horrible) is wait.</p><p></p><p>If anyone else steps in, then it's not HER doing it, therefore she will never own it, therefore she will not have REALLY made the change in herself, therefore she is a sitting target for any pimp who comes along wanting to make some money from her (taking a portion of her prostitution earnings plus taking the rest by sellnig her drugs and keeping her hooked).</p><p></p><p>Her underlying BiPolar (BP) is not the casue here, I feel. This has gone way beyond, to drug addiction. I suspect that when the day comes, maybe years from now, when she can tell you when this all started and she first tried drugs or demeaned herself, it was a long time ago, well before now. And you couldn't have prevented it, not without locking her in a cottonwool box. And in such circumstances, as soon as you opened the cottonwool box to let her out to go to the shops, go to school, go visit a friend - she would have been ready to grab the chance to begin the downward spiral.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair. Sometimes all you can do, is the best you can do, and you have to know when to stop banging your head against the brick wall.</p><p></p><p>Now is the time to stop. That doesn't mean you stop loving, or stop caring. But you MUST stop trying to change the unchangeable, and wait.</p><p></p><p>Get help. Get medical help for you, get yourselves (the family and friends) to Narc-Anon. THAT you CAN do, and believe it or not, this will also be the fastest way to help your daughter.</p><p></p><p>Do not let this tear you apart. That will NOT help your daughter. Do you think asshe is right now, she cares one jot for all your tears? Think of who she could be in years to come, once she gets off this - think of that person advising you now, telling you what she needed you to do now. She would tell you to not waste your energy and time right now, but to look after yourselves, because right now she is not ready to make any change, she is too deep in this and must get herself out. And that just won't happen right now, not even with all the intervention in - wherever.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 258885, member: 1991"] I'm so sorry you are hurting like this. You need to get help for you, fast. Get to your doctor, stop waiting by the phone because if it's important you'll still find out, someone will call back or go roundto see you or leave a message. But go get help. You're no good to anyoone if you have a stroke or end up in hospital yourself. What about your son? How is he in all thi? He must be feeling so angry, so afraid and so hurt. she cannot be rescued. she must rescue herself. All plans to charge to the rescue and drag her off the streets - these are most unlikely to work, especially since she has a pimp who will come after her, even if, by some total miracle, she makes the decision herself to go clean and straight. Like, she had the chance before to go clean and straight, BEFORE it got to this, and she still chose to head for thestreets? Now she has someone who has a financial interest in her, he won't let her go so easily. Getting HIM off the streets would be the priority and frankly that is a job for the cops, not for civilians. I am so, so sorry, but NOBODY can step in and rescue this girl. She is not a baby, she is an adult (in the eyes of the law). You COULD try to get extended custody, but while you still had it, did it make any difference? What could you do with it now? What you MUST do is look after her mother. If/when your daughter "sees the light" then she will need YOU in one piece, healthy and ready to help her find her way back. But SHE has to do this, all you can do (I know it's horrible) is wait. If anyone else steps in, then it's not HER doing it, therefore she will never own it, therefore she will not have REALLY made the change in herself, therefore she is a sitting target for any pimp who comes along wanting to make some money from her (taking a portion of her prostitution earnings plus taking the rest by sellnig her drugs and keeping her hooked). Her underlying BiPolar (BP) is not the casue here, I feel. This has gone way beyond, to drug addiction. I suspect that when the day comes, maybe years from now, when she can tell you when this all started and she first tried drugs or demeaned herself, it was a long time ago, well before now. And you couldn't have prevented it, not without locking her in a cottonwool box. And in such circumstances, as soon as you opened the cottonwool box to let her out to go to the shops, go to school, go visit a friend - she would have been ready to grab the chance to begin the downward spiral. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Life isn't fair. Sometimes all you can do, is the best you can do, and you have to know when to stop banging your head against the brick wall. Now is the time to stop. That doesn't mean you stop loving, or stop caring. But you MUST stop trying to change the unchangeable, and wait. Get help. Get medical help for you, get yourselves (the family and friends) to Narc-Anon. THAT you CAN do, and believe it or not, this will also be the fastest way to help your daughter. Do not let this tear you apart. That will NOT help your daughter. Do you think asshe is right now, she cares one jot for all your tears? Think of who she could be in years to come, once she gets off this - think of that person advising you now, telling you what she needed you to do now. She would tell you to not waste your energy and time right now, but to look after yourselves, because right now she is not ready to make any change, she is too deep in this and must get herself out. And that just won't happen right now, not even with all the intervention in - wherever. Marg [/QUOTE]
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