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Parent Emeritus
She's cut me off, now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 328748" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I know that my own mother harbors a lot of guilt about the childhood that my siblings and I endured. None of us were ever taken to the dentist, not once. </p><p>When I was eight and my top front tooth began to grow behind its corresponding baby tooth, my Dad's answer was to yank out my baby tooth with a pair of plyers. I was terrified and it hurt!</p><p> </p><p>At what point do you allow her to be a grown up? I would say now is a very good time. I highly doubt she is going to cut you off; it is most likely a manipulation tactic with your guilt used as the weapon. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, so you weren't a great Mom in her younger years, you acknowledge that. However, you are not obligated to fix things for her. If you truly WANTED to help her simply because YOU wanted to, that is another matter. I know that my Mom has had to silently suffer when one of us kids made a bad choice in the past. She wanted to jump in and rescue us, but knew that as a parent it was not in our best interest. We had to learn to stand on our own and she saw us in some supremely awful predicaments. </p><p> </p><p>The holidays seem to intensify the behavior and guilt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 328748, member: 831"] I know that my own mother harbors a lot of guilt about the childhood that my siblings and I endured. None of us were ever taken to the dentist, not once. When I was eight and my top front tooth began to grow behind its corresponding baby tooth, my Dad's answer was to yank out my baby tooth with a pair of plyers. I was terrified and it hurt! At what point do you allow her to be a grown up? I would say now is a very good time. I highly doubt she is going to cut you off; it is most likely a manipulation tactic with your guilt used as the weapon. Okay, so you weren't a great Mom in her younger years, you acknowledge that. However, you are not obligated to fix things for her. If you truly WANTED to help her simply because YOU wanted to, that is another matter. I know that my Mom has had to silently suffer when one of us kids made a bad choice in the past. She wanted to jump in and rescue us, but knew that as a parent it was not in our best interest. We had to learn to stand on our own and she saw us in some supremely awful predicaments. The holidays seem to intensify the behavior and guilt. [/QUOTE]
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She's cut me off, now what?
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