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Parent Emeritus
She's Gone Again...and I'm okay...for now
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653399" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>This does not sound horrible, it sounds honest. Yes, you not only need, you deserve a break from the chaos your daughter has inflicted upon you. There is nothing wrong with needing some time to replenish your strength and spirit.</p><p></p><p>I completely agree with Cedar.</p><p></p><p>One phrase that I use with my son is "I'm really sorry that you are having such a difficult time, I hope things get better for you"</p><p>Also, when asking for money I learned to never say things like "I'm sorry I can't help you" this kind of statement can lead into debate and argument. When they ask for money or other things the best response is a simple "NO". You do not owe an explanation so don't offer one. Short simple answers are the best.</p><p></p><p>This is not an easy journey but you are farther along than you think you are. You have already acknowledged the need to detach and have started the process.</p><p></p><p>Now is the time to be on your guard even more because as you draw back from helping her or giving her money she most likely will ramp up her efforts to get you to do what she wants. Our Difficult Child can be masters at manipulation and gaslighting. This is also a good reason to limit communication. Text messages can allow you time to think about your response and it doesn't allow for a heated debate.</p><p></p><p>You are now at the point of learning coping skills and techniques in dealing with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for the pain you are suffering, I know all to well what it's like.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, you're doing great.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653399, member: 18516"] This does not sound horrible, it sounds honest. Yes, you not only need, you deserve a break from the chaos your daughter has inflicted upon you. There is nothing wrong with needing some time to replenish your strength and spirit. I completely agree with Cedar. One phrase that I use with my son is "I'm really sorry that you are having such a difficult time, I hope things get better for you" Also, when asking for money I learned to never say things like "I'm sorry I can't help you" this kind of statement can lead into debate and argument. When they ask for money or other things the best response is a simple "NO". You do not owe an explanation so don't offer one. Short simple answers are the best. This is not an easy journey but you are farther along than you think you are. You have already acknowledged the need to detach and have started the process. Now is the time to be on your guard even more because as you draw back from helping her or giving her money she most likely will ramp up her efforts to get you to do what she wants. Our Difficult Child can be masters at manipulation and gaslighting. This is also a good reason to limit communication. Text messages can allow you time to think about your response and it doesn't allow for a heated debate. You are now at the point of learning coping skills and techniques in dealing with your daughter. I'm sorry for the pain you are suffering, I know all to well what it's like. Hang in there, you're doing great. :group-hug: [/QUOTE]
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She's Gone Again...and I'm okay...for now
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