When my husband died tragically, our close knit family lost seemingly everything (according to our children). My second daughter lost her mind due to drugs and I am raising her 4 daughters. Other and many tragedies have happened in my life due to family members and also in the business world- because I have continued our family business and have employed my children (along with others). I am vulnerable in my business because of the physical nature of it, and I have needed my son to continue with me. He has always worked in the business and he even worked for his dad as a teen. After the death that he tragically witnessed, my son plunged into the dark world of drugs. I have stayed with him in encouragement and help and he has given me reason to continually fear that he may not make it one day. Up until recently, he has maintained a helpful and apologetic attitude at work (when he shows up), and I usually have been relieved to see him because I needed him (and I have had a paralyzing fear that he is dead) The sympathy and love I have for him has been crippling for me throughout the years.
Then ... there seemed to be a turn of events. My son started changing his thought processes and becoming beligerant and scary, even to the kids. He has been so accusing and mean that I am not sure if he will hurt someone. He has attacked me verbally to the extreme (via email) and shown hate on a level I have not seen before. I had to let him go from work because he wasn't able to function with his new life theories and seemed to pick on the women and kids in the family (at the business). He was calling them terrible names and cussing them out. He has not worked for two months and has run out of money a long time ago and his roommate has no more patience and "hates him". He only communicates with me now via email, because he has lost all other forms of communication. This is so out of character even for him. He seems to be mentally ill or something, and is lost on all kinds of theories. He has begun to burn all bridges in the family and his friends too. He has taken his new "discoveries" to extreme. I have told him he needs to detox because I think he is delusional. These conversations never go well. Now I am afraid he will show up to work because he says I need to "retire". I am afraid he may want to hurt someone because he thinks everyone is laughing at him and his discoveries, even His nieces and nephews. He says everyone has turned on him now that he is clean and accuse him of being "crazy" or "on Meth".
I wonder what is going to happen, or how this will turn out. My sadness, depression and anxiety is at levels I have never seen even with my very difficult life. I feel hopeless.
