Normal
My heart goes out to you. Having a child with a drug addiction and one with serious mental health problems I found myself depressed and anxious often. Sadness was a constant. And all of these feelings are “ very normal “ given situations such as these. What loving mother wouldn’t feel that way. For me I had to learn to love myself first & seek help for me. I chose to work with a therapist who’s specialty was trauma & dysfunctional families. For myself there were a lot of complicated dynamics. I was committed to doing the work to becoming the healthiest version of me & then I could deal with my children in a more constructive, healthy manner. I also joined a Domestic Violence group Which has been an amazing support. The combination of therapy & group has help me to learn & grow, to understand how to be a parent to impaired children who are abusive. The healthier I became the less willing I was & still am to accepting unacceptable behaviors in my children. The focus became about me, setting safe boundaries, taking whatever measures it took to maintain my safety. It’s a journey and many days we’re still filled with sadness & despair. But there were also victories along the way. My daughter who was a heroin addict is clean 4 years & works with HIV positive addicts. She calls me all the time to say “ thank you for not tolerating any crap for setting & sticking to your boundaries.” My younger child is still a heartbreaker but I do the same with her. There are times with her that I’m at the end of the road. Time to regroup & begin again.