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Should I Be Miffed??
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<blockquote data-quote="wakeupcall" data-source="post: 70130" data-attributes="member: 2287"><p>PLEASE don't view this as taking up for your brother in law, ok? I just want to tell you from my point of view when something similiar happened in our family.</p><p></p><p>My father died in 1992. Shortly after making the decision to adopt newborn difficult child in 1995, my mother moved to the city where we lived. I was very close to my mom and had never lived in the same city as an adult. I was thrilled!! A year later my mom was diagnosis with colon cancer. For five years I took my mom back and forth to all her treatments, she had four surgeries, cooked all her meals and took them to her (she lived a mile away), etc. In the middle of my mom's illness, husband's place of employment closed the doors. In an attempt to stay in the city with my mom and many friends, we bought a business. ARG...! In two years the business went belly-up and we lost $200k. husband was 54 years old and we needed a job for insurances, FOOD, and to pay bills. He hunted hard so we wouldn't have to move, but it didn't work out. He got a job many states away. I BEGGED my mom to move with us. We even had bought a house where we could turn a large space into her own apartment within our house. She flat out refused. What were we to do? (Now, keep in mind, I'd done all this with my mom for five years.) My friends stepped up to the plate (bless them), and we had in place in-home care givers, yard people, etc. Each time my friends called and said she was bad, I went and by the time I got there she had rallied. difficult child was in kindergarten, so it wasn't easy. After a year of going back and forth my friends called once again to come home, so I called my brother (in another state), my only sibling, and asked if he could PLEASE go stay with her for a little bit. He said, of course! He was there two weeks and Mom died.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I did ALL I could do short of filing bankruptcy. I had my brother to stay for two weeks (I'd done this five years and a year long-distance). To this day, five years after Mom's death, my "friends" of twelve years no longer speak to me...not a word. I did all I could. My brother was there. I was raising a toddler (my brother has no children). My mother was NOT going to move so I could help her.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the particulars in your situation. But sometimes there are so many other factors. I know it's hard work to care for her...been there done that. Just do all you can do. I have no guilty conscience, but I do wish my friends had understood. My brother and I are still as close as before and he holds nothing against me. </p><p></p><p>I'm just saying, sometimes things aren't as they seem. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how hard it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wakeupcall, post: 70130, member: 2287"] PLEASE don't view this as taking up for your brother in law, ok? I just want to tell you from my point of view when something similiar happened in our family. My father died in 1992. Shortly after making the decision to adopt newborn difficult child in 1995, my mother moved to the city where we lived. I was very close to my mom and had never lived in the same city as an adult. I was thrilled!! A year later my mom was diagnosis with colon cancer. For five years I took my mom back and forth to all her treatments, she had four surgeries, cooked all her meals and took them to her (she lived a mile away), etc. In the middle of my mom's illness, husband's place of employment closed the doors. In an attempt to stay in the city with my mom and many friends, we bought a business. ARG...! In two years the business went belly-up and we lost $200k. husband was 54 years old and we needed a job for insurances, FOOD, and to pay bills. He hunted hard so we wouldn't have to move, but it didn't work out. He got a job many states away. I BEGGED my mom to move with us. We even had bought a house where we could turn a large space into her own apartment within our house. She flat out refused. What were we to do? (Now, keep in mind, I'd done all this with my mom for five years.) My friends stepped up to the plate (bless them), and we had in place in-home care givers, yard people, etc. Each time my friends called and said she was bad, I went and by the time I got there she had rallied. difficult child was in kindergarten, so it wasn't easy. After a year of going back and forth my friends called once again to come home, so I called my brother (in another state), my only sibling, and asked if he could PLEASE go stay with her for a little bit. He said, of course! He was there two weeks and Mom died. Honestly, I did ALL I could do short of filing bankruptcy. I had my brother to stay for two weeks (I'd done this five years and a year long-distance). To this day, five years after Mom's death, my "friends" of twelve years no longer speak to me...not a word. I did all I could. My brother was there. I was raising a toddler (my brother has no children). My mother was NOT going to move so I could help her. I don't know the particulars in your situation. But sometimes there are so many other factors. I know it's hard work to care for her...been there done that. Just do all you can do. I have no guilty conscience, but I do wish my friends had understood. My brother and I are still as close as before and he holds nothing against me. I'm just saying, sometimes things aren't as they seem. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how hard it is. [/QUOTE]
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