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Failure to Thrive
Should I feel guilty for wanting my depressed adult son to live on his own
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725174" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ma'am why do YOU feel guilty??? You have NO reason. Your son is a 27 year old man. Please read on.</p><p></p><p>I don't understand why you son can't work. Anxiety and depression, I have both, are very common and treatable and most of us work. Is he refusing treatment or using pot in place of proper treat ment? To many of our difficult adult kids pot is the safe, perfect cure for anything. Only it isn't. The pot doesn't seem to make them function better. Why can't he go to your county mental health facility to get professional treatment? Isn't it his fault he is in this situation? Aren't there steps he can take to improve his life? He is able bodied and capable of manuel labor even if he has depression and anxiety. Working will keep him busy, which is part of treatment for depression and anxiety. Doing nothing makes you feel worse.</p><p></p><p>When I was around your sons age it never occurred to me not to work because of my mental illness. I brought a calming book, put it in my purse, and if I had a panic attack, I went into the restroom, locked myself in a stall and read my book until the panic attack subsided. I also had and tool anxiety medications and went to therapy weekly. My mom didnt take care of me at 27. It wasn't even on her mind. And I was so severely depressed that once I spent ten weeks in a psychiatric hospital. But I never stopped trying and I did well. I am still doing well. I am 64.</p><p></p><p>Your son has to take control and do better or he could make himself an invalid because of common, treatable mental illnesses. You can't help him. He needs to man up and take care of himself or he will never get better. Your help could actually make your son be more helpless and feel sorry for himself. How will that teach him to cope?</p><p></p><p>I wish you peace and hope your son will take care of himself. He can try for SSI too, but his illnesses should be treated either way. If he never works you will think of him as a poor little boy, he will feel useless, and you can't live forever to care for him. Nor should you have to.</p><p></p><p>by the way neither depression not anxiety cause violence and destruction of property. I hope you pressed charges. There is no excuse for that. It is violence. Your moving into the criminal area there. If he does that to a stranger, it will be pursued.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725174, member: 1550"] Ma'am why do YOU feel guilty??? You have NO reason. Your son is a 27 year old man. Please read on. I don't understand why you son can't work. Anxiety and depression, I have both, are very common and treatable and most of us work. Is he refusing treatment or using pot in place of proper treat ment? To many of our difficult adult kids pot is the safe, perfect cure for anything. Only it isn't. The pot doesn't seem to make them function better. Why can't he go to your county mental health facility to get professional treatment? Isn't it his fault he is in this situation? Aren't there steps he can take to improve his life? He is able bodied and capable of manuel labor even if he has depression and anxiety. Working will keep him busy, which is part of treatment for depression and anxiety. Doing nothing makes you feel worse. When I was around your sons age it never occurred to me not to work because of my mental illness. I brought a calming book, put it in my purse, and if I had a panic attack, I went into the restroom, locked myself in a stall and read my book until the panic attack subsided. I also had and tool anxiety medications and went to therapy weekly. My mom didnt take care of me at 27. It wasn't even on her mind. And I was so severely depressed that once I spent ten weeks in a psychiatric hospital. But I never stopped trying and I did well. I am still doing well. I am 64. Your son has to take control and do better or he could make himself an invalid because of common, treatable mental illnesses. You can't help him. He needs to man up and take care of himself or he will never get better. Your help could actually make your son be more helpless and feel sorry for himself. How will that teach him to cope? I wish you peace and hope your son will take care of himself. He can try for SSI too, but his illnesses should be treated either way. If he never works you will think of him as a poor little boy, he will feel useless, and you can't live forever to care for him. Nor should you have to. by the way neither depression not anxiety cause violence and destruction of property. I hope you pressed charges. There is no excuse for that. It is violence. Your moving into the criminal area there. If he does that to a stranger, it will be pursued. Love and hugs! [/QUOTE]
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Should I feel guilty for wanting my depressed adult son to live on his own
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