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Should I impose more limits?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 365242" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Jessie is not getting any better. Her docs don't seem to care. The therapist cannot figure out why they insist it is anxiety except that the docs don't seem to care.</p><p></p><p>She WANTS to go and do things. She will push herself to not shake so no one comments or looks at her funny. It is not easy and it is quite painful. </p><p></p><p>Today husband's sister had everyone over for swimming and a barbecue. I couldn't go because I have had a really bad week, but Jess insisted she wanted to go. She knew she would hurt more tonight and tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>Now she is in really BAD shape. She is having a hard time walking because she is shaking so badly. It seems to rebound really hard if she suppresses it much. She has a nasty migraine. She has been throwing up. The muscles in her back are so tight that I can SEE them under her skin. They are also very swollen.</p><p></p><p>husband encourages her to do more and more and more. I WANT her to do more. He does not see how much it costs her. He goes to sleep and I deal with the all night pain, tears, medicine, hot packs, massages, falls, etc... With the outings she has done in the last couple of weeks I have not had more than 4 hours of sleep at any one time. Jess needs me to wake up for something every few hours. husband will help her up if she falls at night MAYBE once every couple of weeks. He has a hard time waking up once he is asleep. And thinking once he wakes up. So I get to see all the problems and he is totally unaware of much of this.</p><p></p><p>She will spend the next 3 days in horrible shape. She will be a trooper through it, but the cost is VERY high.</p><p></p><p>Do I need to start saying she cannot do some of these things? That if she goes somewhere she cannot do certain things, or that she can only be gone for a couple of hours at most? I do NOT want to limit her world or make her miss out on things. In the long run being up with her at night won't be that big a deal for me. I worry that she will stop trying or that she will be able to do less and less. I don't want that.</p><p></p><p>I just don't know how much she can handle like this. The pain drives her out of her mind. It isn't made up, of course. She doesn't even whine about it. But I can tell it is vicious. </p><p></p><p>What can I do? The docs will NOT treat the pain, or do much of anything for her. been there done that had to restrain myself from yanking the doctor' lungs out through their noses.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for any ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 365242, member: 1233"] Jessie is not getting any better. Her docs don't seem to care. The therapist cannot figure out why they insist it is anxiety except that the docs don't seem to care. She WANTS to go and do things. She will push herself to not shake so no one comments or looks at her funny. It is not easy and it is quite painful. Today husband's sister had everyone over for swimming and a barbecue. I couldn't go because I have had a really bad week, but Jess insisted she wanted to go. She knew she would hurt more tonight and tomorrow. Now she is in really BAD shape. She is having a hard time walking because she is shaking so badly. It seems to rebound really hard if she suppresses it much. She has a nasty migraine. She has been throwing up. The muscles in her back are so tight that I can SEE them under her skin. They are also very swollen. husband encourages her to do more and more and more. I WANT her to do more. He does not see how much it costs her. He goes to sleep and I deal with the all night pain, tears, medicine, hot packs, massages, falls, etc... With the outings she has done in the last couple of weeks I have not had more than 4 hours of sleep at any one time. Jess needs me to wake up for something every few hours. husband will help her up if she falls at night MAYBE once every couple of weeks. He has a hard time waking up once he is asleep. And thinking once he wakes up. So I get to see all the problems and he is totally unaware of much of this. She will spend the next 3 days in horrible shape. She will be a trooper through it, but the cost is VERY high. Do I need to start saying she cannot do some of these things? That if she goes somewhere she cannot do certain things, or that she can only be gone for a couple of hours at most? I do NOT want to limit her world or make her miss out on things. In the long run being up with her at night won't be that big a deal for me. I worry that she will stop trying or that she will be able to do less and less. I don't want that. I just don't know how much she can handle like this. The pain drives her out of her mind. It isn't made up, of course. She doesn't even whine about it. But I can tell it is vicious. What can I do? The docs will NOT treat the pain, or do much of anything for her. been there done that had to restrain myself from yanking the doctor' lungs out through their noses. Thanks for any ideas. [/QUOTE]
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