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Should we kick our 16 yr old son out?
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<blockquote data-quote="amelia d" data-source="post: 639779" data-attributes="member: 18177"><p>Hi Difficult Child... I think it's very positive that your son has found a passion for cooking and is looking towards a career in that field. That should give you some hope that he has a goal that he can actually make a living from and enjoy what he's doing. Now the downside (and I know this because my daughter is a server in a popular bar/restaurant district); these places are a mecca for access to all sorts of drugs . Since your son is 16 and working in this environment, he is no doubt being exposed to this lifestyle. Very few restaurant workers become famous head chefs--you see a lot of 40 y/o bartenders and waitresses who are doing what they must to get by. My daughter told me the other night that she can get cocaine, molly, heroin; basically whatever she wants. It's that easy. It is human nature to be influenced by the surroundings you are in. </p><p> I have two suggestions that you may not have considered. The first is to speak with his manager. If he loves his job, its probably because he is impressed by his mentor, and wants/seeks his approval. This guy (girl?) may have the influence over him that you never will. Regardless of where he is living or if he gets his GED, culinary school requires discipline and attention to detail. That translates to focus and concentration; not to mention a pretty significant tuition bill. He needs to learn self-control to succeed in a program like that. My second thought is a request for a court appointed advocate to assist with options. Age 16 seems really young to have a kid live on his own; even the most responsible child. Your son doesn't sound all that responsible, and has not shown good decision making abilities yet. You haven't mentioned any legal issues with him (has he been arrested for possession or distribution?), so they may have options for group homes or halfway houses. He will hate them because they have very defined rules and restrictions, and he doesn't sound like the compliant type. He sounds like he wants what he wants, when he wants it, with whomever he chooses. That's not a good risk to sign a lease. Everyone on here is correct that you will bear the burden, both financially and legally for his bad decisions. Could you tender an agreement with him that if he gets his GED and respects you and your house rules, that you will cover the costs for his culinary school? Does he know what qualifications he needs to get accepted into culinary school?</p><p>Just some thoughts for you. I wish you luck and hope he starts to "get it".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="amelia d, post: 639779, member: 18177"] Hi Difficult Child... I think it's very positive that your son has found a passion for cooking and is looking towards a career in that field. That should give you some hope that he has a goal that he can actually make a living from and enjoy what he's doing. Now the downside (and I know this because my daughter is a server in a popular bar/restaurant district); these places are a mecca for access to all sorts of drugs . Since your son is 16 and working in this environment, he is no doubt being exposed to this lifestyle. Very few restaurant workers become famous head chefs--you see a lot of 40 y/o bartenders and waitresses who are doing what they must to get by. My daughter told me the other night that she can get cocaine, molly, heroin; basically whatever she wants. It's that easy. It is human nature to be influenced by the surroundings you are in. I have two suggestions that you may not have considered. The first is to speak with his manager. If he loves his job, its probably because he is impressed by his mentor, and wants/seeks his approval. This guy (girl?) may have the influence over him that you never will. Regardless of where he is living or if he gets his GED, culinary school requires discipline and attention to detail. That translates to focus and concentration; not to mention a pretty significant tuition bill. He needs to learn self-control to succeed in a program like that. My second thought is a request for a court appointed advocate to assist with options. Age 16 seems really young to have a kid live on his own; even the most responsible child. Your son doesn't sound all that responsible, and has not shown good decision making abilities yet. You haven't mentioned any legal issues with him (has he been arrested for possession or distribution?), so they may have options for group homes or halfway houses. He will hate them because they have very defined rules and restrictions, and he doesn't sound like the compliant type. He sounds like he wants what he wants, when he wants it, with whomever he chooses. That's not a good risk to sign a lease. Everyone on here is correct that you will bear the burden, both financially and legally for his bad decisions. Could you tender an agreement with him that if he gets his GED and respects you and your house rules, that you will cover the costs for his culinary school? Does he know what qualifications he needs to get accepted into culinary school? Just some thoughts for you. I wish you luck and hope he starts to "get it". [/QUOTE]
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Should we kick our 16 yr old son out?
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