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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 422614" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Malika,</p><p>As you know my easy child was a pretty severe ADHD (remember I shared-medications at age 5 even though I'm a conservative with those). He also had sensory issues-eventually found out he had sensory integration problems(common with ADD or ADHD- see it often in my classroom). He would only wear certain clothes, had some fear of play ground equipment that went round and round or swings, fine motor problems. He is 23 and doing wonderful! Makes good money doing what he loves. Still likes cotton short sleeve shirts and shorts (dead of winter included), but survives his work uniform. His sensory integration issues have made him a wonderful drummer because his hands and legs can do their own thing. He has friends, has always been sober, and has a clean driving record. Not many 23 year olds get to say that! We intervened early, and always kept up<strong> hope.</strong></p><p> </p><p>When you finially go down the path of "My child may have some problem", you go through a grieving process- and its not a straight line,you go from one stage to another and back and forth. Denial, anger,denial, acceptance, denial,acceptance and so on. It is just like loosing a kid-the kid you thought you had. I've done it with both kids. And I am still struggling with doing it with difficult child as we get a new diagnosis and medication with every psychiatrist we see! </p><p> </p><p><strong>What I have learned is that even the pros are not pros.</strong> Children change and develop and parents have a lot to do with this, though they can't change everything (genetics are huge!). There are a million methods of how to deal with them and everyone has the sure way-don't ever believe that when you hear it- it is too rigid. I have made my bag of tricks full of everything I could and I still gather. It's helped me be more responsive and a better teacher as well. I don't buy into one way of thinking ever-noone has all the answers. It's nice to get all the ideas here on this site, they have helped me greatly. Sometimes I have to try things several times and sometimes I am led to just what I need in the moment.<strong> This site is a true life-saver for me.</strong> As you can see we all have different experiences and different personalities and therefore,different things will work for us.</p><p> </p><p> My biggest lesson has been to listen to myself-what am I saying and what is my frame of mind really? How am I transmitting this to my family? Is that good or not so helpful? What do I need? I am learning to care for myself and to trust my mother instincts, which through the years have been tramped all over by well meaning professionals from teachers to psychiatrists. Even if you find out your little boy has a diagnosis-he is not the diagnosis. He is your little boy first and the diagnosis next. And then the diagnosis does not always point to a sure fire treatment. Most parents here can tell you the path is long and the searching tough. </p><p> </p><p>You are not alone. Im glad you are going to get some help-you will at least have some ideas on where to head that may help there be some peace between you and J. Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 422614, member: 11001"] Malika, As you know my easy child was a pretty severe ADHD (remember I shared-medications at age 5 even though I'm a conservative with those). He also had sensory issues-eventually found out he had sensory integration problems(common with ADD or ADHD- see it often in my classroom). He would only wear certain clothes, had some fear of play ground equipment that went round and round or swings, fine motor problems. He is 23 and doing wonderful! Makes good money doing what he loves. Still likes cotton short sleeve shirts and shorts (dead of winter included), but survives his work uniform. His sensory integration issues have made him a wonderful drummer because his hands and legs can do their own thing. He has friends, has always been sober, and has a clean driving record. Not many 23 year olds get to say that! We intervened early, and always kept up[B] hope.[/B] When you finially go down the path of "My child may have some problem", you go through a grieving process- and its not a straight line,you go from one stage to another and back and forth. Denial, anger,denial, acceptance, denial,acceptance and so on. It is just like loosing a kid-the kid you thought you had. I've done it with both kids. And I am still struggling with doing it with difficult child as we get a new diagnosis and medication with every psychiatrist we see! [B]What I have learned is that even the pros are not pros.[/B] Children change and develop and parents have a lot to do with this, though they can't change everything (genetics are huge!). There are a million methods of how to deal with them and everyone has the sure way-don't ever believe that when you hear it- it is too rigid. I have made my bag of tricks full of everything I could and I still gather. It's helped me be more responsive and a better teacher as well. I don't buy into one way of thinking ever-noone has all the answers. It's nice to get all the ideas here on this site, they have helped me greatly. Sometimes I have to try things several times and sometimes I am led to just what I need in the moment.[B] This site is a true life-saver for me.[/B] As you can see we all have different experiences and different personalities and therefore,different things will work for us. My biggest lesson has been to listen to myself-what am I saying and what is my frame of mind really? How am I transmitting this to my family? Is that good or not so helpful? What do I need? I am learning to care for myself and to trust my mother instincts, which through the years have been tramped all over by well meaning professionals from teachers to psychiatrists. Even if you find out your little boy has a diagnosis-he is not the diagnosis. He is your little boy first and the diagnosis next. And then the diagnosis does not always point to a sure fire treatment. Most parents here can tell you the path is long and the searching tough. You are not alone. Im glad you are going to get some help-you will at least have some ideas on where to head that may help there be some peace between you and J. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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