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Family of Origin
Shunning: A Tool Widely Used
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 667481" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Very interesting Cedar. I've read through your first post in this thread and it's made me want to read more about this. I think an important aspect of shunning is its use as a tool to try and control the behaviour of others so that they fit the 'norm'.</p><p></p><p>We have a new leader of the opposition here, Jeremy Corbyn, a left-wing politician with strong views that don't fit with the establishment. He's been shunned in the past and possibly ridiculed. It will be interesting to watch how the "in-crowd" of upper-class, privately-educated politicians deal with this situation, now that he is in a position of relative power.</p><p></p><p>Shunning can have the opposite effect as that wanted. My mother shunned me because I didn't fit with her 'established' ideas of how a daughter should behave. She thought this would force me to toe the line and fit in with her. She is now an elderly woman who has been shunned by her children, particularly her son. Karma. You can't behave how you like and expect no repurcussions.</p><p></p><p>There is a saying in the UK: "sending someone to Coventry". It means ignoring someone and not speaking to them, shunning in effect. It's traditionally been seen as a form of punishment but is often used by school-children as a form of 'punishment' for non-conformity rather than for any misdemeanor. It only works if the person being 'sent to Coventry' cares. A shrugging 'who cares' response immediately removes all power from those doing the shunning. So my mother has lost all her power, if she ever had any, in fact she's lost a lot more than her power.</p><p></p><p>This is a waffly post isn't it? I'll probably read this back in a while and want to edit it and it'll be too late. (probably much as my mother would like to do with her life maybe - although I think she probably still thinks that she's beyond reproach and everyone else, especially me, is the bad guy)</p><p></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Send_to_Coventry" target="_blank">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Send_to_Coventry</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 667481, member: 17650"] Very interesting Cedar. I've read through your first post in this thread and it's made me want to read more about this. I think an important aspect of shunning is its use as a tool to try and control the behaviour of others so that they fit the 'norm'. We have a new leader of the opposition here, Jeremy Corbyn, a left-wing politician with strong views that don't fit with the establishment. He's been shunned in the past and possibly ridiculed. It will be interesting to watch how the "in-crowd" of upper-class, privately-educated politicians deal with this situation, now that he is in a position of relative power. Shunning can have the opposite effect as that wanted. My mother shunned me because I didn't fit with her 'established' ideas of how a daughter should behave. She thought this would force me to toe the line and fit in with her. She is now an elderly woman who has been shunned by her children, particularly her son. Karma. You can't behave how you like and expect no repurcussions. There is a saying in the UK: "sending someone to Coventry". It means ignoring someone and not speaking to them, shunning in effect. It's traditionally been seen as a form of punishment but is often used by school-children as a form of 'punishment' for non-conformity rather than for any misdemeanor. It only works if the person being 'sent to Coventry' cares. A shrugging 'who cares' response immediately removes all power from those doing the shunning. So my mother has lost all her power, if she ever had any, in fact she's lost a lot more than her power. This is a waffly post isn't it? I'll probably read this back in a while and want to edit it and it'll be too late. (probably much as my mother would like to do with her life maybe - although I think she probably still thinks that she's beyond reproach and everyone else, especially me, is the bad guy) [URL]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Send_to_Coventry[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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Shunning: A Tool Widely Used
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