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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 755469" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Lulu, I hear resolve in your words. I get it. I find It helps me see the reality of my Difficult Child daughters behaviors through the eyes of others. My energy is exhausted by worry and unrealistic thoughts. It is better spent on positive interactions with the others who respect me.</p><p></p><p>You are right to consider this arrangement may fail, I hope not. But, that is a realistic consideration. </p><p></p><p>I worried about detachment, what if??? I saw it as "tough love" difficult to do. But, all we asking our adult DCs to do is be responsible for their actions and choices. Someone here told me she thinks disentanglement is a better word, and I agree.</p><p></p><p>Learning as much as I can about the behaviors of my Difficult Child by reading, therapy, and through what is shared here is my bedrock. I feel better prepare for battle that may ensue within me or my Difficult Child relationship. Much of what I have learned has helped in my other relationships too.</p><p></p><p>I am glad to hear the resolve. We cant know how anything will unfold, so all we can do is set enforceable boundaries and detach emotionally. It's not complicated. All we are asking from ourselves is to see each event logically and deal with it as any other reasonable person would do after making the boundaries clear to our Difficult Child, which you have done.</p><p></p><p>"Every good thing that has happened in your life happened because something changed. —ANDY ANDREWS" </p><p>From my book by Hoda Lotb, I Really Needed This Today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 755469, member: 23811"] Lulu, I hear resolve in your words. I get it. I find It helps me see the reality of my Difficult Child daughters behaviors through the eyes of others. My energy is exhausted by worry and unrealistic thoughts. It is better spent on positive interactions with the others who respect me. You are right to consider this arrangement may fail, I hope not. But, that is a realistic consideration. I worried about detachment, what if??? I saw it as "tough love" difficult to do. But, all we asking our adult DCs to do is be responsible for their actions and choices. Someone here told me she thinks disentanglement is a better word, and I agree. Learning as much as I can about the behaviors of my Difficult Child by reading, therapy, and through what is shared here is my bedrock. I feel better prepare for battle that may ensue within me or my Difficult Child relationship. Much of what I have learned has helped in my other relationships too. I am glad to hear the resolve. We cant know how anything will unfold, so all we can do is set enforceable boundaries and detach emotionally. It's not complicated. All we are asking from ourselves is to see each event logically and deal with it as any other reasonable person would do after making the boundaries clear to our Difficult Child, which you have done. "Every good thing that has happened in your life happened because something changed. —ANDY ANDREWS" From my book by Hoda Lotb, I Really Needed This Today. [/QUOTE]
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