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Sibling Rivalry (and update on progress)
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 604749" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>It depends: I have two children the oldest is aspie like and does her thing and the 3 year old copies. Point blank period I have shown her that he is copying her, that the things she does he then wants to do and has gotten in trouble and hurt because he did what she did. Since she isn't just "being bad" which is what I thought for a long time and since she really does despite outward appearances love her brother it helped. But nothing helped till I started talking and showing examples of her behavior.</p><p>It's almost like she had to see it to believe it was happening and her brother would get hurt. </p><p></p><p>More normal parenting techniques work on my youngest a seat on the hand a pop on the butt a strong no, time out, taking away a toy.</p><p></p><p>But my oldest you have to get inside her brain and explain and not give a reaction and honestly it's exhausting and I'm not the best at it.</p><p></p><p>And yes sometimes it isn't "fair" it isn't fair that the youngest does age appropriate naughtiness and it isn't a huge deal. But the older kid does things she knows is wrong and gets in trouble and it is a bigger deal after 8 years her behavior has gotten old. I don't particularly think its fair that she gets to cut out of corporal punishment for her transgressions and he doesn't . But it doesn't work for her and the must be parented differently. My kids are on two totally different developmental levels one is a toddler and one is halfway through elementary there is a big difference there and you have to point it out. The 8 year old can not act like a toddler and get away with it and the 3 year old does not get the privledges that comes with age. </p><p></p><p>If you do try to talk it out with your difficult child. I suggest short concise answers that show little to no emotion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 604749, member: 16184"] It depends: I have two children the oldest is aspie like and does her thing and the 3 year old copies. Point blank period I have shown her that he is copying her, that the things she does he then wants to do and has gotten in trouble and hurt because he did what she did. Since she isn't just "being bad" which is what I thought for a long time and since she really does despite outward appearances love her brother it helped. But nothing helped till I started talking and showing examples of her behavior. It's almost like she had to see it to believe it was happening and her brother would get hurt. More normal parenting techniques work on my youngest a seat on the hand a pop on the butt a strong no, time out, taking away a toy. But my oldest you have to get inside her brain and explain and not give a reaction and honestly it's exhausting and I'm not the best at it. And yes sometimes it isn't "fair" it isn't fair that the youngest does age appropriate naughtiness and it isn't a huge deal. But the older kid does things she knows is wrong and gets in trouble and it is a bigger deal after 8 years her behavior has gotten old. I don't particularly think its fair that she gets to cut out of corporal punishment for her transgressions and he doesn't . But it doesn't work for her and the must be parented differently. My kids are on two totally different developmental levels one is a toddler and one is halfway through elementary there is a big difference there and you have to point it out. The 8 year old can not act like a toddler and get away with it and the 3 year old does not get the privledges that comes with age. If you do try to talk it out with your difficult child. I suggest short concise answers that show little to no emotion. [/QUOTE]
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