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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 560714" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Terry, you are right. The current bout is most likely because easy child feeling bad about getting cut. And I understand it is difficult to be that fringe kid. Every other time in, every other time out depending this or that. And this time he even got surpassed by his own team mate, who in their own team hierarchy is much behind easy child and easy child has done much better than that kid in their own team. But while they are playing same position, their role is different and I can see why the coaches chose that other boy to the team. His strengths are in areas easy child is weaker and easy child is strong in areas that other kid isn't. And they had enough boys to that position with easy child's player profile who were better than him and needed boys with that different profile. But of course easy child is disappointed, especially because he has done very well all fall and exceeded expectations everyone had for him. And at the same time he sees how difficult child's national group is bending backwards to help difficult child, who really has had major struggles this fall, to get out of his slump, because they have very few possibilities in substituting him. I can see how unfair that feels to sixteen year old, who has always been taught that it is about hoe hard you work, how good team mate you are etc. And then difficult child gets so many extra chances even though in the same group there are kids he has even stolen from and though he is certainly not a good team player.</p><p></p><p>If it would be outside of the family he would likely have easier time with unfairness of it and he would understand that goal is the best of the team and at times that makes different rules for different people. But when it is about his own brother, it is more difficult for him to see it from that point of view. He sees it like difficult child getting more ice cream than him even though difficult child is being naughty and less deserving and that of course feels unfair for him.</p><p></p><p>Because difficult child and easy child are so different people and because easy child tends to be very good in areas that are most difficult for difficult child, easy child has hard time really seeing difficult child's point of view. It is so easy to underestimate things that come easy for you. For example easy child has always been very quick to make friends and is good at keeping them. He has a big and great group of friends and even when he has to try anew, like this fall partly, he is quickly making new friends and comfortable and in ease in any group. He really don't get how much struggles and hurt those same things cause to difficult child. How much harder difficult child works to survive socially and how much it hurts when he still fails all the time. easy child has no experiences on being social outcast, so it is easy for him to scoff off those kind of things and simply envy those few, small niches where difficult child may be bit more talented than him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 560714, member: 14557"] Terry, you are right. The current bout is most likely because easy child feeling bad about getting cut. And I understand it is difficult to be that fringe kid. Every other time in, every other time out depending this or that. And this time he even got surpassed by his own team mate, who in their own team hierarchy is much behind easy child and easy child has done much better than that kid in their own team. But while they are playing same position, their role is different and I can see why the coaches chose that other boy to the team. His strengths are in areas easy child is weaker and easy child is strong in areas that other kid isn't. And they had enough boys to that position with easy child's player profile who were better than him and needed boys with that different profile. But of course easy child is disappointed, especially because he has done very well all fall and exceeded expectations everyone had for him. And at the same time he sees how difficult child's national group is bending backwards to help difficult child, who really has had major struggles this fall, to get out of his slump, because they have very few possibilities in substituting him. I can see how unfair that feels to sixteen year old, who has always been taught that it is about hoe hard you work, how good team mate you are etc. And then difficult child gets so many extra chances even though in the same group there are kids he has even stolen from and though he is certainly not a good team player. If it would be outside of the family he would likely have easier time with unfairness of it and he would understand that goal is the best of the team and at times that makes different rules for different people. But when it is about his own brother, it is more difficult for him to see it from that point of view. He sees it like difficult child getting more ice cream than him even though difficult child is being naughty and less deserving and that of course feels unfair for him. Because difficult child and easy child are so different people and because easy child tends to be very good in areas that are most difficult for difficult child, easy child has hard time really seeing difficult child's point of view. It is so easy to underestimate things that come easy for you. For example easy child has always been very quick to make friends and is good at keeping them. He has a big and great group of friends and even when he has to try anew, like this fall partly, he is quickly making new friends and comfortable and in ease in any group. He really don't get how much struggles and hurt those same things cause to difficult child. How much harder difficult child works to survive socially and how much it hurts when he still fails all the time. easy child has no experiences on being social outcast, so it is easy for him to scoff off those kind of things and simply envy those few, small niches where difficult child may be bit more talented than him. [/QUOTE]
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