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sick of people 'helping'
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 444453" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Can you also keep CAS in the loop fully and say that you were already frustrated at the doctor for putting you off constantly; that the chopping and changing meant your diary looked like a mess with crossing out everywhere and that is how you missed ONE appointment. I would also ask them if they can recommend a doctor who will KEEP appointments and who will also communicate with you more effectively.</p><p></p><p>We had to go down this route for a while; I was really angry that the authorities got called on us and I felt ambushed, set up for failure. I found the best way to handle them was to call them direct and say, "Okay, we need services and we need help for this kid. Please help us get it." In our case, they eventually dropped the case when it was clear I was chasing them for services rather than the other way around. And they also pointed us in a useful direction, short-cutting some assessments we'd been on the waiting list for, and getting put off for.</p><p></p><p>The initial accusations were upsetting, but I dealt with them by saying, "If you're right, we need your help. If you're wrong, we STILL needs your help. So help us!"</p><p></p><p>As for the doctor - it COULD be a misunderstanding, a communication problem due to office staff not passing messages on or blaming you for their inefficiencies. But even so - time to move on when the system allows you to.</p><p></p><p>I found that oncer we got past the Catch 22 rubbish of blaming the mother, I was able to really talk to the child protection people and ask for their advice on what to do next, who to see and how to find a doctor we trusted who they also valued. Focussing on involving them in consultation as part of my child's health care team put us both on the same side, even if they were trying to take an adversarial position. I do the same thing with schools - "We have the same aim, the best outcome for this child."</p><p></p><p>Find the common ground and begin there. Because you had already got them out of your hair, there is history there of the case being closed. So it should be faster this time.</p><p></p><p>Fingers crossed!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 444453, member: 1991"] Can you also keep CAS in the loop fully and say that you were already frustrated at the doctor for putting you off constantly; that the chopping and changing meant your diary looked like a mess with crossing out everywhere and that is how you missed ONE appointment. I would also ask them if they can recommend a doctor who will KEEP appointments and who will also communicate with you more effectively. We had to go down this route for a while; I was really angry that the authorities got called on us and I felt ambushed, set up for failure. I found the best way to handle them was to call them direct and say, "Okay, we need services and we need help for this kid. Please help us get it." In our case, they eventually dropped the case when it was clear I was chasing them for services rather than the other way around. And they also pointed us in a useful direction, short-cutting some assessments we'd been on the waiting list for, and getting put off for. The initial accusations were upsetting, but I dealt with them by saying, "If you're right, we need your help. If you're wrong, we STILL needs your help. So help us!" As for the doctor - it COULD be a misunderstanding, a communication problem due to office staff not passing messages on or blaming you for their inefficiencies. But even so - time to move on when the system allows you to. I found that oncer we got past the Catch 22 rubbish of blaming the mother, I was able to really talk to the child protection people and ask for their advice on what to do next, who to see and how to find a doctor we trusted who they also valued. Focussing on involving them in consultation as part of my child's health care team put us both on the same side, even if they were trying to take an adversarial position. I do the same thing with schools - "We have the same aim, the best outcome for this child." Find the common ground and begin there. Because you had already got them out of your hair, there is history there of the case being closed. So it should be faster this time. Fingers crossed! Marg [/QUOTE]
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