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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 758711" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Thank you Hopeful parent for your genuine support and ideas on how to make my life better. I am sorry you are on this struggle with me and I pray for your situation and I appreciate your support. I do study books and articles on how to help myself and my husband better. In 2018 I lost my mother and my two best friends to death. They were my strongest support system. My husband and I have been trying to make our lives better each day by eating right and exercising. Thank you hopeful parent for your suggestions and I love that you are seeking so much help to help yourself, I too will go 'happy hunting'. I have been looking for distractions but it has been a bit tough with COVID since most things are still shut down. I have not been to my fun volunteer job at the museum.</p><p>My daughter went to a private college in Australia years ago, she dated some decent guys but I am positive her bipolar/borderline got in the way for anything lasting. My daughter told me how much she hated me and could not wait to get that far away from me but then called me twice a day while she was in Australia. She tries to have that love/hate relationship with me now and I just can't do it. That is one of the reasons I have had to pull myself completely away from her and have not said one word to her since July 28th. My bipolar mother in law was the same way, she loved me deeply and hated me deeply. I had to completely unplug from her too and my life became much better. There is a huge difference in the quality of your life when you get that toxic person out of your life.. I can unplug as needed but I struggle with my daughter since my love for her goes so very deeply. For now I am loving her from afar, I am sending love vibrations to her and praying for her well being but not allowing her to be toxic to me. She has tried to contact me several times but I am completely on break, and my husband does the communicating since I just don't want to. The death plot for us started last July. My daughter's friend called to warn me that she thought something sinister was being planned. This is the first time I have had to deal with something this major sinister. The thought that she would want us dead over a new home or our money has me grieved beyond. It just tells me how ill she is and when she gets off her mania she may regret it, I have seen deep regret in her after her mania subsides, that is one of the reasons I can't break completely free from her because I have seen genuine regret. Proves to me she is not 100% a psychopath. </p><p>Another weird thing that has happened that I did not mention in any of my posts is that while she was highly manic and being cruel to me she mutter the words "Kevin' and then again 'Kevin'. The movie 'We need to talk about Kevin' has been playing on the channels and I think she watched it and saw herself and how she treated me. I am not sure if she was trying to remind herself to not act like Kevin while manic or she felt like the character or her spirit deep down was warning me about the sinister plans she was making, either way it was very creepy.</p><p></p><p>The sad thing is she can actually get on medication that can help her and she chooses not to.</p><p>Prayers of love, compassion and healing are prayed for you Hopeful parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 758711, member: 22416"] Thank you Hopeful parent for your genuine support and ideas on how to make my life better. I am sorry you are on this struggle with me and I pray for your situation and I appreciate your support. I do study books and articles on how to help myself and my husband better. In 2018 I lost my mother and my two best friends to death. They were my strongest support system. My husband and I have been trying to make our lives better each day by eating right and exercising. Thank you hopeful parent for your suggestions and I love that you are seeking so much help to help yourself, I too will go 'happy hunting'. I have been looking for distractions but it has been a bit tough with COVID since most things are still shut down. I have not been to my fun volunteer job at the museum. My daughter went to a private college in Australia years ago, she dated some decent guys but I am positive her bipolar/borderline got in the way for anything lasting. My daughter told me how much she hated me and could not wait to get that far away from me but then called me twice a day while she was in Australia. She tries to have that love/hate relationship with me now and I just can't do it. That is one of the reasons I have had to pull myself completely away from her and have not said one word to her since July 28th. My bipolar mother in law was the same way, she loved me deeply and hated me deeply. I had to completely unplug from her too and my life became much better. There is a huge difference in the quality of your life when you get that toxic person out of your life.. I can unplug as needed but I struggle with my daughter since my love for her goes so very deeply. For now I am loving her from afar, I am sending love vibrations to her and praying for her well being but not allowing her to be toxic to me. She has tried to contact me several times but I am completely on break, and my husband does the communicating since I just don't want to. The death plot for us started last July. My daughter's friend called to warn me that she thought something sinister was being planned. This is the first time I have had to deal with something this major sinister. The thought that she would want us dead over a new home or our money has me grieved beyond. It just tells me how ill she is and when she gets off her mania she may regret it, I have seen deep regret in her after her mania subsides, that is one of the reasons I can't break completely free from her because I have seen genuine regret. Proves to me she is not 100% a psychopath. Another weird thing that has happened that I did not mention in any of my posts is that while she was highly manic and being cruel to me she mutter the words "Kevin' and then again 'Kevin'. The movie 'We need to talk about Kevin' has been playing on the channels and I think she watched it and saw herself and how she treated me. I am not sure if she was trying to remind herself to not act like Kevin while manic or she felt like the character or her spirit deep down was warning me about the sinister plans she was making, either way it was very creepy. The sad thing is she can actually get on medication that can help her and she chooses not to. Prayers of love, compassion and healing are prayed for you Hopeful parent. [/QUOTE]
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