Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Since the topic came up, do you feel you were too harsh with your child as a child?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="greenstockings" data-source="post: 623416" data-attributes="member: 17532"><p>We were harsh with our difficult child, but didn't know how else to be. I was raised by permissive parents who believed in natural consequences; school of hard knocks. I don't agree with their parenting style, either, and always knew I'd give my kids more guidance, more of my time, etc. I was spanked here and there as a kid, but I was a pretty easy kid so I didn't get punished much. I said with confidence while pregnant with difficult child (my oldest) that I wouldn't ever spank him. Boy, did I eat my words. That kid has (and still does) made me angrier than any other person on the planet. Spanking aside, I have hit him with objects and also told him I hated him (after he screamed that he hated me). If you would have asked me early on if I would ever have done those things, I would have laughed in your face and asked what sort of monster do you think I am?</p><p></p><p>Then we did the other bad thing....we took the easy way. No expectations = no fighting. So we hardly asked him to do anything, let him entertain himself for endless hours in front of the computer, etc. Mind you, he was in and out of doctor's offices for many of those years. He had a different label every couple of years because nothing fit, no techniques worked, no medications helped.</p><p></p><p>So now he's 22 with a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and he's lost and we're lost. He refuses therapy because talking gives him anxiety. He's doing nothing around the house, not working, not in school. The few things we ask of him...he does about 25% of them. He was homeless for a little while this past winter because we had had enough and threw him out, and then took him back in after he admitted himself to a psychiatric hospital. His new medications do seem to help but they are not magic pills. He has to do some work to advance himself in life.</p><p></p><p>Tonight he asked if he could use my car to go to a friend's house. A group of them get together there every Sunday. I had told him several days ago that if he wasn't going to do any of the things I asked (clean up after himself and look for work), that he could forget about using my car this weekend. He had the nerve to ask anyway, and since I told him no he blocked me on Facebook. I both love him and hate him, and really don't know what to do now. I feel like he's using us, but at the same time I feel like I should give him more time to get a handle on his illness. He's only been on the new medications for two months, and only one Dr. appointment. since then. He has another one next week. :<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" />:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenstockings, post: 623416, member: 17532"] We were harsh with our difficult child, but didn't know how else to be. I was raised by permissive parents who believed in natural consequences; school of hard knocks. I don't agree with their parenting style, either, and always knew I'd give my kids more guidance, more of my time, etc. I was spanked here and there as a kid, but I was a pretty easy kid so I didn't get punished much. I said with confidence while pregnant with difficult child (my oldest) that I wouldn't ever spank him. Boy, did I eat my words. That kid has (and still does) made me angrier than any other person on the planet. Spanking aside, I have hit him with objects and also told him I hated him (after he screamed that he hated me). If you would have asked me early on if I would ever have done those things, I would have laughed in your face and asked what sort of monster do you think I am? Then we did the other bad thing....we took the easy way. No expectations = no fighting. So we hardly asked him to do anything, let him entertain himself for endless hours in front of the computer, etc. Mind you, he was in and out of doctor's offices for many of those years. He had a different label every couple of years because nothing fit, no techniques worked, no medications helped. So now he's 22 with a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and he's lost and we're lost. He refuses therapy because talking gives him anxiety. He's doing nothing around the house, not working, not in school. The few things we ask of him...he does about 25% of them. He was homeless for a little while this past winter because we had had enough and threw him out, and then took him back in after he admitted himself to a psychiatric hospital. His new medications do seem to help but they are not magic pills. He has to do some work to advance himself in life. Tonight he asked if he could use my car to go to a friend's house. A group of them get together there every Sunday. I had told him several days ago that if he wasn't going to do any of the things I asked (clean up after himself and look for work), that he could forget about using my car this weekend. He had the nerve to ask anyway, and since I told him no he blocked me on Facebook. I both love him and hate him, and really don't know what to do now. I feel like he's using us, but at the same time I feel like I should give him more time to get a handle on his illness. He's only been on the new medications for two months, and only one Dr. appointment. since then. He has another one next week. ::sigh:: [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Since the topic came up, do you feel you were too harsh with your child as a child?
Top