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Single Mom being challenged by Teen Son
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<blockquote data-quote="DixieGoody" data-source="post: 567637" data-attributes="member: 15644"><p>Thank you Midwest Mom, I can see that. What I can't understand is that difficult child will tell me how his dad is failing him, he says he sees it but when given the chance will do everything to please his dad and treat me like crud even though he admits that I am the only one there for him. WHICH is why him leaving (and me letting him go) is so hurtful because I feel like I am giving him TOUGH LOVE but I also feel like I am deserting him when I am actually just not playing into his emotional blackmail. However, I so wanted to be at the finish line when he finally gets thru this tough part in his life. MY FAULT: I get mad, I give a punishment and then I get over it. I do not like to "stay mad" and honestly, it is for selfish reason - I just don't like the feeling. Well, I think they (kids) have figured it out. MOM may get mad, but she will get over it, and still loves us. DAD may get mad, may never talk to us again and not sure if he loves us. This time.... I am not speaking with him and am trying hard to not "get over it" so that he realizes this isn't just a "thing". It is serious, you can't manipulate me with tantrum. The strange part is that all of my kids were awesome when they were young!! They didn't give me ONE ounce of trouble, no terrible two's, no tantrums, etc. I am not only looking at his issues...I am trying to change mine. Thank you so much! I try not to get angry with their dad because ....well, frankly, he's not worth the emotion and I don't want kids to see me bitter ....BUUUUTTTTT oh, I long for the day I can really give him a piece of my mind. When my youngest turns 18 maybe. HA! We'll see.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DixieGoody, post: 567637, member: 15644"] Thank you Midwest Mom, I can see that. What I can't understand is that difficult child will tell me how his dad is failing him, he says he sees it but when given the chance will do everything to please his dad and treat me like crud even though he admits that I am the only one there for him. WHICH is why him leaving (and me letting him go) is so hurtful because I feel like I am giving him TOUGH LOVE but I also feel like I am deserting him when I am actually just not playing into his emotional blackmail. However, I so wanted to be at the finish line when he finally gets thru this tough part in his life. MY FAULT: I get mad, I give a punishment and then I get over it. I do not like to "stay mad" and honestly, it is for selfish reason - I just don't like the feeling. Well, I think they (kids) have figured it out. MOM may get mad, but she will get over it, and still loves us. DAD may get mad, may never talk to us again and not sure if he loves us. This time.... I am not speaking with him and am trying hard to not "get over it" so that he realizes this isn't just a "thing". It is serious, you can't manipulate me with tantrum. The strange part is that all of my kids were awesome when they were young!! They didn't give me ONE ounce of trouble, no terrible two's, no tantrums, etc. I am not only looking at his issues...I am trying to change mine. Thank you so much! I try not to get angry with their dad because ....well, frankly, he's not worth the emotion and I don't want kids to see me bitter ....BUUUUTTTTT oh, I long for the day I can really give him a piece of my mind. When my youngest turns 18 maybe. HA! We'll see. [/QUOTE]
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