Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Sites on Bullying and Emotional Abuse
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 665560" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks, Cedar, She had just lost her husband to cancer and came into class crying a lot, which scared all of us, She liked to target ME in particular, and alo called me up to show everyone how badly I bit my nails and to mock them and once she threw my desk over to the side because it was messy and again taunted me and made me stay in for recess, Funnily enough, I did have a few friends that year so it was a horrible, nightmarish year, I did have some friends, although not a lot of them and they would throw me under the bus in order to not be teased themselves,</p><p></p><p>But I got teased no matter who the teacher was, My fourth grade teacher loved math and I was horrible at math and she also made an example out of me calling me that "S" word and that year I had NO friends with the entire class calling me stupid, A few teachers didn't contribute, other than allow the bullying to take place right under their noses,</p><p></p><p>In eighth grade I suffered my very first clinical and deep depression and I had no fight in me at all, Until that year, I'd get feisty once in a while, but that year I was a mess, I daydreamed on purppose, which is something I looked up and it is called maladaptive daydreaming, I was terrified of my classmates, That may have been my worst year, Boys were starting to like girls and it was a roar and a half to say I was somebody's girlfriend,</p><p></p><p>One of the biggest bullies in my grade was a very overweight kid who somehow managed to be popular, His name was Jason, I loved it when the horror movies came out using th e name Jason, One day he and his cronies came up to me and surrounded my desk, I don't know why, but I do remember the teacher was not there yet or had gone out for something, He wouldn't have stopped it anyway, But this fat boy, who looked soft as dough kept making kissing sounds and asked me to be his girlfriend while the kids behind him laughed and laughed, And he kept at it, not getting tired of the game and giving up, I dropped my head, but inside my mind I was thinking, "I should say 'Sorry, Jason, but you're too FAT, That would stop him,'" And it would have given me new respect from his "friends" many who were as scared of him as me and just went along with him so that they would not be his target I thought it and thought it, but I never said it,</p><p></p><p>I never got a chance to say it because in high school he left me alone, but I was ready if he ever came near me and dared to say it again, By then I had my snarky friend and had learned that the best way to deal with bullies is not to walk away from them where you can't (like in a school where both of you attend), but to shame them back so that they never go near you again, I was pretty by then, He was still fat, I never had to bother with him again, but in a way I wish I had said it that one time in eighth grade, It is one of the few memories I have in school that are explicit,</p><p></p><p>Really, I was so done with being called names by my family and peers, I was ready to give it back to my peers, but thankfully I never had to and did not seek it out,</p><p></p><p>I learned that words hurt like the stab of a knife, If only I had applied this to FOO when I'd learned to never befriend a bully,,,I would have been freed as a teenager and my life would have been way different, Instead I kept playing and kept getting bullied and kept feeling hurt and angry and kept being defeated, A fool's game,</p><p></p><p>I lost but I won,</p><p></p><p>I still know that, at least until last year, which was th e last time I knew what either of them were doing, I had the most love of anybody in the family who is still alive, And I don't call them names and they don't call me names,</p><p></p><p>How odd that at first I thought it was unusual that there was no namecalling with second husband,</p><p></p><p>He doesn't make me feel so badly that I cry,</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 665560, member: 1550"] Thanks, Cedar, She had just lost her husband to cancer and came into class crying a lot, which scared all of us, She liked to target ME in particular, and alo called me up to show everyone how badly I bit my nails and to mock them and once she threw my desk over to the side because it was messy and again taunted me and made me stay in for recess, Funnily enough, I did have a few friends that year so it was a horrible, nightmarish year, I did have some friends, although not a lot of them and they would throw me under the bus in order to not be teased themselves, But I got teased no matter who the teacher was, My fourth grade teacher loved math and I was horrible at math and she also made an example out of me calling me that "S" word and that year I had NO friends with the entire class calling me stupid, A few teachers didn't contribute, other than allow the bullying to take place right under their noses, In eighth grade I suffered my very first clinical and deep depression and I had no fight in me at all, Until that year, I'd get feisty once in a while, but that year I was a mess, I daydreamed on purppose, which is something I looked up and it is called maladaptive daydreaming, I was terrified of my classmates, That may have been my worst year, Boys were starting to like girls and it was a roar and a half to say I was somebody's girlfriend, One of the biggest bullies in my grade was a very overweight kid who somehow managed to be popular, His name was Jason, I loved it when the horror movies came out using th e name Jason, One day he and his cronies came up to me and surrounded my desk, I don't know why, but I do remember the teacher was not there yet or had gone out for something, He wouldn't have stopped it anyway, But this fat boy, who looked soft as dough kept making kissing sounds and asked me to be his girlfriend while the kids behind him laughed and laughed, And he kept at it, not getting tired of the game and giving up, I dropped my head, but inside my mind I was thinking, "I should say 'Sorry, Jason, but you're too FAT, That would stop him,'" And it would have given me new respect from his "friends" many who were as scared of him as me and just went along with him so that they would not be his target I thought it and thought it, but I never said it, I never got a chance to say it because in high school he left me alone, but I was ready if he ever came near me and dared to say it again, By then I had my snarky friend and had learned that the best way to deal with bullies is not to walk away from them where you can't (like in a school where both of you attend), but to shame them back so that they never go near you again, I was pretty by then, He was still fat, I never had to bother with him again, but in a way I wish I had said it that one time in eighth grade, It is one of the few memories I have in school that are explicit, Really, I was so done with being called names by my family and peers, I was ready to give it back to my peers, but thankfully I never had to and did not seek it out, I learned that words hurt like the stab of a knife, If only I had applied this to FOO when I'd learned to never befriend a bully,,,I would have been freed as a teenager and my life would have been way different, Instead I kept playing and kept getting bullied and kept feeling hurt and angry and kept being defeated, A fool's game, I lost but I won, I still know that, at least until last year, which was th e last time I knew what either of them were doing, I had the most love of anybody in the family who is still alive, And I don't call them names and they don't call me names, How odd that at first I thought it was unusual that there was no namecalling with second husband, He doesn't make me feel so badly that I cry, [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Sites on Bullying and Emotional Abuse
Top