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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665593" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes. To know it and name it correctly. Disrespect. Which brings up the whole issue of the nature of the relationship, and of intent.</p><p></p><p>Or we could say (Copa <em>this is the flavor of my sister, too!) </em>so, we could say: "Did you know eye rolling is an expression of ridicule requiring an innocent ally, your new husband in this case, to choose sides? That you are tricking him into complicity in your contemptuous, inexcusable actions? Why are you doing that, here in my home at a luncheon given to honor all of us? Why are you such a difficult sister, always insisting there has to be a bag man? Someone always and forever insisting that everything be cheapened, be made ugly? I believed you had grown beyond these uglinesses. I did not invite you here, to my home, so you could play pointless games like a two year old brat with no morals and no manners. Next time, we will arrange to meet for lunch somewhere in the red light district; then we will both know, right from the start, that our intentions in coming together are to play cheap, evil tricks validated by recruiting our innocent husbands through the eye rolling ploy. Rather than the fine luncheon I honored you with today, we will order from the concession machine in the motel lobby. Something poisoned, something quick and dirty and as uselessly cheap as your intentions toward me."</p><p></p><p>So...your sister is always angry with you, too.</p><p></p><p>What are they angry about I wonder, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Yes and I would add too, "How dare you turn your husband, this innocent bystander who will learn your toxicity all too soon on his own, into your ally in that same, ugly game you are forever insisting we play! How dare you require this innocent's complicity in depersonalizing and degrading me! Will you never grow up? You were raised better than to do what you're doing."</p><p></p><p>"Husband, it was very nice to meet you. Know that I wish you both well, but I ask you to leave, now. Here is your wife's purse. Thank you for coming. I went to a great deal of effort to honor this event, and had hoped for friendship and even, love between us. I am sorry my sister has behaved so boorishly."</p><p></p><p>"Thank you again, for coming."</p><p></p><p>Because we know that the husbands will find out for themselves what they've married into. Remember my posting that, on the day the photographer was here to take the four generation picture of my mom, my sister, her daughter, and her grand...my sister snapped at her husband to just go sit on the sofa.</p><p></p><p>And he did it.</p><p></p><p>And he stayed right there, too.</p><p></p><p>Except that, I was cooking? And I went to turn around and there he was, right behind me, watching what I was doing. Not in a bad way. I just hadn't known he had the chutzpa to get up from the sofa when my sister told him to sit there, like a dog or something.</p><p></p><p>And that too turned into how hard D H and I worked to make dinner. </p><p></p><p>And how my sister would have it catered.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>I very much liked your description of the feel of your sister, Copa.</p><p></p><p>That is the feel of my sister, too.</p><p></p><p>How truly extraordinary the sister would prefer the typical tourist tour of a city like San Francisco when you lived there, and knew all the great things to see.</p><p></p><p>Remember my posting about the new husband's pocket notebook, where he had listed all the things we might do in nearby Dallas. And my sister refused.</p><p></p><p>Huh.</p><p></p><p>Wonder what the husband's really think.</p><p></p><p>Well, we already know what they come to think. That is why the sister's are forever getting divorced.</p><p></p><p>I wanted to add too that professors especially are prone to arrogance, because they hold the power of the grade. It has nothing to do with them. If they are great teachers, they are not arrogant. This is true.</p><p></p><p>Arrogance pretty much rules out greatness.</p><p></p><p>I have seen that in nurses, and in doctors, too.</p><p></p><p>The good ones are never arrogant.</p><p></p><p>They are pleased, and fully engaged. Sort of like Joel said, this morning: "Glory to glory, they move through the day."</p><p></p><p>I added the last part.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665593, member: 17461"] Yes. To know it and name it correctly. Disrespect. Which brings up the whole issue of the nature of the relationship, and of intent. Or we could say (Copa [I]this is the flavor of my sister, too!) [/I]so, we could say: "Did you know eye rolling is an expression of ridicule requiring an innocent ally, your new husband in this case, to choose sides? That you are tricking him into complicity in your contemptuous, inexcusable actions? Why are you doing that, here in my home at a luncheon given to honor all of us? Why are you such a difficult sister, always insisting there has to be a bag man? Someone always and forever insisting that everything be cheapened, be made ugly? I believed you had grown beyond these uglinesses. I did not invite you here, to my home, so you could play pointless games like a two year old brat with no morals and no manners. Next time, we will arrange to meet for lunch somewhere in the red light district; then we will both know, right from the start, that our intentions in coming together are to play cheap, evil tricks validated by recruiting our innocent husbands through the eye rolling ploy. Rather than the fine luncheon I honored you with today, we will order from the concession machine in the motel lobby. Something poisoned, something quick and dirty and as uselessly cheap as your intentions toward me." So...your sister is always angry with you, too. What are they angry about I wonder, Copa. Yes and I would add too, "How dare you turn your husband, this innocent bystander who will learn your toxicity all too soon on his own, into your ally in that same, ugly game you are forever insisting we play! How dare you require this innocent's complicity in depersonalizing and degrading me! Will you never grow up? You were raised better than to do what you're doing." "Husband, it was very nice to meet you. Know that I wish you both well, but I ask you to leave, now. Here is your wife's purse. Thank you for coming. I went to a great deal of effort to honor this event, and had hoped for friendship and even, love between us. I am sorry my sister has behaved so boorishly." "Thank you again, for coming." Because we know that the husbands will find out for themselves what they've married into. Remember my posting that, on the day the photographer was here to take the four generation picture of my mom, my sister, her daughter, and her grand...my sister snapped at her husband to just go sit on the sofa. And he did it. And he stayed right there, too. Except that, I was cooking? And I went to turn around and there he was, right behind me, watching what I was doing. Not in a bad way. I just hadn't known he had the chutzpa to get up from the sofa when my sister told him to sit there, like a dog or something. And that too turned into how hard D H and I worked to make dinner. And how my sister would have it catered. Cedar I very much liked your description of the feel of your sister, Copa. That is the feel of my sister, too. How truly extraordinary the sister would prefer the typical tourist tour of a city like San Francisco when you lived there, and knew all the great things to see. Remember my posting about the new husband's pocket notebook, where he had listed all the things we might do in nearby Dallas. And my sister refused. Huh. Wonder what the husband's really think. Well, we already know what they come to think. That is why the sister's are forever getting divorced. I wanted to add too that professors especially are prone to arrogance, because they hold the power of the grade. It has nothing to do with them. If they are great teachers, they are not arrogant. This is true. Arrogance pretty much rules out greatness. I have seen that in nurses, and in doctors, too. The good ones are never arrogant. They are pleased, and fully engaged. Sort of like Joel said, this morning: "Glory to glory, they move through the day." I added the last part. :O) [/QUOTE]
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