Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Situation with gfg32 has gone "beserkier"
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 619965" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Oh boy, you are not going to believe this: MY SON COULD HAVE WRITTEN THAT EMAIL. THE DETAILS ARE SO SIMILAR. THE TONE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. THE ULTIMATE GOAL, ALWAYS JUSTIFIED, IS CASH, ALWAYS CASH. HE CALLS husband AND I BY OUR FIRST NAMES, TOO. AND HE NEVER LETS US RESPOND, EITHER!</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child son's attitude about his first car (a piece of junk), his second car (husband put it in difficult child son's name not to establish a credit rating for him, but to borrow money in difficult child's name) his third car (which was given to difficult child after he destroyed the second one ~ which, just for the record, husband wound up paying off.) difficult child son would receive other cars and most recently, a truck from us, over the years.</p><p></p><p>difficult child son threw two parties at our house and was thrown out after the second. He came home to live again, of course. But in all these years, he has never, ever, stopped accusing us of destroying his life, beginning with that.</p><p></p><p>There are other similarities.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you accidentally received an email from my difficult child?</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child is certainly telling everyone what they can do with their rules, and why. He is telling everyone they are not as bright as he is. He is blaming each of you for everything he does wrong.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child told you not to respond. Don't. You are free. Your son has not come to you with a viable plan for putting his life back together. He is being a bad, irresponsible son. </p><p></p><p>Turn away.</p><p></p><p>Write an email indicating that you agree.</p><p></p><p>Just that.</p><p></p><p>Nothing else.</p><p></p><p>Don't say with what. Don't offer money. </p><p></p><p>Stop worrying about this adult male who has, like my own son, learned to manipulate me and husband for just enough to get by on instead of creating his own life ~ and hates me for it.</p><p> </p><p>I did not have to read through the entire email. I read enough to know your difficult child expects you to pay for graduate school. Not grandma, who did offer, but <u>you.</u> I don't know what the other similarities are. But I do know your son is not only abusing his girlfriends ~ he is abusing his parents, as well. Midwest Mom did a thread on parents abused by their adult children before you came to the site.</p><p></p><p>It was such an eye opener to me that I called my son on his tone and language and haven't heard from him since. That part is neither here nor there...the part that matters is that I realized, from reading MWM's post, that like her, I was an abused mom, too.</p><p></p><p>I was so surprised.</p><p></p><p>But once I could see it? I could see it was true.</p><p></p><p>So I could deal with it appropriately.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.patriciaevans.com" target="_blank">www.patriciaevans.com</a></p><p></p><p>This is the site of a woman who writes simply and extensively about verbally abusive relationship. About how the abuser thinks, about why he or she does it, about what it does to the person being abused. The dynamic is the same, whether it is a parent or a lover being abused.</p><p></p><p></p><p>What I decided for my own son is that he will need to stand up as a man, and the only way he can do that is if I really am not in the picture ~ not for money, anyway. Turns out, that is all he wants from me. Guilt money, blood money ~ I don't know why, but I do know there is a hunted feeling to interactions with difficult child. Even when he had money, he was so angry with us. </p><p></p><p>We always thought it must be related to what happened with his sister. That she needed so much attention, I mean.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what it is, really. He was a nice boy before he started using drugs. He was a nice, nice boy and young man.</p><p></p><p>But he is not a nice man, now.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 619965, member: 17461"] Oh boy, you are not going to believe this: MY SON COULD HAVE WRITTEN THAT EMAIL. THE DETAILS ARE SO SIMILAR. THE TONE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. THE ULTIMATE GOAL, ALWAYS JUSTIFIED, IS CASH, ALWAYS CASH. HE CALLS husband AND I BY OUR FIRST NAMES, TOO. AND HE NEVER LETS US RESPOND, EITHER! Our difficult child son's attitude about his first car (a piece of junk), his second car (husband put it in difficult child son's name not to establish a credit rating for him, but to borrow money in difficult child's name) his third car (which was given to difficult child after he destroyed the second one ~ which, just for the record, husband wound up paying off.) difficult child son would receive other cars and most recently, a truck from us, over the years. difficult child son threw two parties at our house and was thrown out after the second. He came home to live again, of course. But in all these years, he has never, ever, stopped accusing us of destroying his life, beginning with that. There are other similarities. Maybe you accidentally received an email from my difficult child? :O) Your difficult child is certainly telling everyone what they can do with their rules, and why. He is telling everyone they are not as bright as he is. He is blaming each of you for everything he does wrong. Your difficult child told you not to respond. Don't. You are free. Your son has not come to you with a viable plan for putting his life back together. He is being a bad, irresponsible son. Turn away. Write an email indicating that you agree. Just that. Nothing else. Don't say with what. Don't offer money. Stop worrying about this adult male who has, like my own son, learned to manipulate me and husband for just enough to get by on instead of creating his own life ~ and hates me for it. I did not have to read through the entire email. I read enough to know your difficult child expects you to pay for graduate school. Not grandma, who did offer, but [U]you.[/U] I don't know what the other similarities are. But I do know your son is not only abusing his girlfriends ~ he is abusing his parents, as well. Midwest Mom did a thread on parents abused by their adult children before you came to the site. It was such an eye opener to me that I called my son on his tone and language and haven't heard from him since. That part is neither here nor there...the part that matters is that I realized, from reading MWM's post, that like her, I was an abused mom, too. I was so surprised. But once I could see it? I could see it was true. So I could deal with it appropriately. [url="http://www.patriciaevans.com"]www.patriciaevans.com[/url] This is the site of a woman who writes simply and extensively about verbally abusive relationship. About how the abuser thinks, about why he or she does it, about what it does to the person being abused. The dynamic is the same, whether it is a parent or a lover being abused. What I decided for my own son is that he will need to stand up as a man, and the only way he can do that is if I really am not in the picture ~ not for money, anyway. Turns out, that is all he wants from me. Guilt money, blood money ~ I don't know why, but I do know there is a hunted feeling to interactions with difficult child. Even when he had money, he was so angry with us. We always thought it must be related to what happened with his sister. That she needed so much attention, I mean. I don't know what it is, really. He was a nice boy before he started using drugs. He was a nice, nice boy and young man. But he is not a nice man, now. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Situation with gfg32 has gone "beserkier"
Top