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General Parenting
Skin Picking, Phobias, & Other
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<blockquote data-quote="jennd23" data-source="post: 423004" data-attributes="member: 11755"><p>Last week I noticed a raw area on my son's hand. I asked him what happened, he said it was a freckle, but he picked it off. (ouch) I "inspected" him during his bath and noticed a couple of other places. I just said freckles are just part of our skin and there's no reason to pick them off. And left it at that. Then I was thinking about it and a while ago (months/yearish) he had a scab that wouldn't heal because he kept picking at it. I really never thought anything of it.</p><p> </p><p>But now that he's started to pick at freckles it makes me curious. I know that some people pick at their skin, but why? Is it a stress thing? Anxiety? He just likes to do it? Which doctor should I bring it up with, if at all? What should I be doing to address it with him? He's only 6 but emotionally a lot younger. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I am also curious how you address your kids fears/phobias? My guy is terrified of bugs. There have been several times when one's gotten in the house and you would think the devil himself was standing in front of the kid. He gets completely hysterical and can not get control of himself, usually he'll lay down on the couch or I'll let him lay in my bed and he'll cry himself to sleep, but do you have any suggestions on how I can work with him on being less afraid of them? </p><p> </p><p>And along the fears, he hates to be alone. Hates it. He will sleep in his room, but only if I leave the lights on under his bed (its a half bunk/small loft style), his closet light, his bathroom, and the hallway light on, oh, and a lamp in the living room when I go to bed. That sounds more like a fear of the dark, which he also has, but I can not get this child to stay alone in a room for two minutes. </p><p> </p><p>Its like when you have an infant and you sit them in front of the shower so you can bathe. I can't even go into the bathroom for any length of time with out him freaking out about being alone in the attached bedroom. I can't use a time out or "take a break in your room" technique because he is too scared to go there alone. Sometimes we BOTH need a time out but I can't even get one because that would mean he would be alone. We've tried a time out in the living room, with him on one couch and me on the other but he can't seem to regain control if I'm in there with him. A lot of times he ends up tantruming himself to sleep which sounds ok but then he wakes up and I can't get him to bed on time (which causes the morning to suck even more lol). </p><p> </p><p>As if this isn't long enough another issue I'm having is punishment or even strict speaking. I can't say anything with out him saying to "stop yelling at him" to be fair, I'm honestly not yelling, and rarely even using a harsh tone. But this morning he clipped a hair thing on my ear (just being silly but it really hurt). I just simply said "hey bud, that hurt, please don't do that" and he reacts by screaming and crying "STOP YELLING AT ME" I do yell sometimes (not my best parenting moments) but 99% of the time, I don't. I try to use positive and earn rewards instead of negative consequences but it wears me out when I can't even say "you're hurting me" with out him getting out of control yelling, screaming, throwing things. The other day he was playing his video game before breakfast and getting dressed. I reminded him that we don't do that and he needed to get dressed to earn his token. He told me "YOU don't take away my games" and hurled the DS at me. Then in the car (same morning) I set his shoes next to him and said "ok, time to get shoes on then you can have the DS" he hurled the shoe at me and said "its time for YOU to put YOUR shoes on" I get so annoyed by that. We never talked back to our parents like that and I know he's different than we were but ugh, it drives me nuts and yet I have no idea what to do about it. I can't even say anything to him because he will just start yelling about what I'm doing wrong and its just so draining that a lot of times I just ignore it or say "we don't throw things in this family" or like in the car "stop throwing things at me and put your shoes on" Obviously this isn't effective but I don't know what else to do with him? I don't know how to effectively discipline him. He doesn't even seem to feel sorry for it later. Its never a "sorry I threw my ds at you" its "how dare you even think about taking that from me". I'm just drained. And if you made it through the marathon post, I appreciate it. I didn't mean to be so long winded. </p><p> </p><p>I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with him....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jennd23, post: 423004, member: 11755"] Last week I noticed a raw area on my son's hand. I asked him what happened, he said it was a freckle, but he picked it off. (ouch) I "inspected" him during his bath and noticed a couple of other places. I just said freckles are just part of our skin and there's no reason to pick them off. And left it at that. Then I was thinking about it and a while ago (months/yearish) he had a scab that wouldn't heal because he kept picking at it. I really never thought anything of it. But now that he's started to pick at freckles it makes me curious. I know that some people pick at their skin, but why? Is it a stress thing? Anxiety? He just likes to do it? Which doctor should I bring it up with, if at all? What should I be doing to address it with him? He's only 6 but emotionally a lot younger. I am also curious how you address your kids fears/phobias? My guy is terrified of bugs. There have been several times when one's gotten in the house and you would think the devil himself was standing in front of the kid. He gets completely hysterical and can not get control of himself, usually he'll lay down on the couch or I'll let him lay in my bed and he'll cry himself to sleep, but do you have any suggestions on how I can work with him on being less afraid of them? And along the fears, he hates to be alone. Hates it. He will sleep in his room, but only if I leave the lights on under his bed (its a half bunk/small loft style), his closet light, his bathroom, and the hallway light on, oh, and a lamp in the living room when I go to bed. That sounds more like a fear of the dark, which he also has, but I can not get this child to stay alone in a room for two minutes. Its like when you have an infant and you sit them in front of the shower so you can bathe. I can't even go into the bathroom for any length of time with out him freaking out about being alone in the attached bedroom. I can't use a time out or "take a break in your room" technique because he is too scared to go there alone. Sometimes we BOTH need a time out but I can't even get one because that would mean he would be alone. We've tried a time out in the living room, with him on one couch and me on the other but he can't seem to regain control if I'm in there with him. A lot of times he ends up tantruming himself to sleep which sounds ok but then he wakes up and I can't get him to bed on time (which causes the morning to suck even more lol). As if this isn't long enough another issue I'm having is punishment or even strict speaking. I can't say anything with out him saying to "stop yelling at him" to be fair, I'm honestly not yelling, and rarely even using a harsh tone. But this morning he clipped a hair thing on my ear (just being silly but it really hurt). I just simply said "hey bud, that hurt, please don't do that" and he reacts by screaming and crying "STOP YELLING AT ME" I do yell sometimes (not my best parenting moments) but 99% of the time, I don't. I try to use positive and earn rewards instead of negative consequences but it wears me out when I can't even say "you're hurting me" with out him getting out of control yelling, screaming, throwing things. The other day he was playing his video game before breakfast and getting dressed. I reminded him that we don't do that and he needed to get dressed to earn his token. He told me "YOU don't take away my games" and hurled the DS at me. Then in the car (same morning) I set his shoes next to him and said "ok, time to get shoes on then you can have the DS" he hurled the shoe at me and said "its time for YOU to put YOUR shoes on" I get so annoyed by that. We never talked back to our parents like that and I know he's different than we were but ugh, it drives me nuts and yet I have no idea what to do about it. I can't even say anything to him because he will just start yelling about what I'm doing wrong and its just so draining that a lot of times I just ignore it or say "we don't throw things in this family" or like in the car "stop throwing things at me and put your shoes on" Obviously this isn't effective but I don't know what else to do with him? I don't know how to effectively discipline him. He doesn't even seem to feel sorry for it later. Its never a "sorry I threw my ds at you" its "how dare you even think about taking that from me". I'm just drained. And if you made it through the marathon post, I appreciate it. I didn't mean to be so long winded. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with him.... [/QUOTE]
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