Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
sleeping with doors locked; difficult child left, wants to come home, Part II
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 166400" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>We let our difficult child come home again last May, after rehab, promises, contrition, the works. She truly was sorry about her choices and truly made the effort to turn things around in her life, for a long time, longer than ever before. Ultimately it didn't work. We followed the same old trajectory, soaring high at first. Gradually she ran out of momentum and began coasting along neither making progress nor slipping. Then she started to get antsy again, chafing at the house rules, complaining about no car, impatient with easy child 1... in a nutshell, she got used to being at home, having things provided for her, and memories of being grateful for a roof, a bed, and meals faded.</p><p></p><p>In hindsight, wife and I would not have consented to this last year-long stay under our roof, nor the three or four or however many it was times before that. In the long run it always boiled down to enabling destructive patterns and postponing the inevitable day of reckoning.</p><p></p><p>What to say without seeming to slam the door in her face? "I love you and always will, but it is impossible for you to live here. The only way forward is for you to learn how to cope with life on your own. As long as we shield you from consequences of your choices you will never be able to learn to make good choices, and that will end up destroying you and us both."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Stay strong! I feel like our difficult child maybe could have been independent by now, had we not caved and let her move back again so many times over the years. Keeping a good thought for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 166400, member: 3485"] We let our difficult child come home again last May, after rehab, promises, contrition, the works. She truly was sorry about her choices and truly made the effort to turn things around in her life, for a long time, longer than ever before. Ultimately it didn't work. We followed the same old trajectory, soaring high at first. Gradually she ran out of momentum and began coasting along neither making progress nor slipping. Then she started to get antsy again, chafing at the house rules, complaining about no car, impatient with easy child 1... in a nutshell, she got used to being at home, having things provided for her, and memories of being grateful for a roof, a bed, and meals faded. In hindsight, wife and I would not have consented to this last year-long stay under our roof, nor the three or four or however many it was times before that. In the long run it always boiled down to enabling destructive patterns and postponing the inevitable day of reckoning. What to say without seeming to slam the door in her face? "I love you and always will, but it is impossible for you to live here. The only way forward is for you to learn how to cope with life on your own. As long as we shield you from consequences of your choices you will never be able to learn to make good choices, and that will end up destroying you and us both." Stay strong! I feel like our difficult child maybe could have been independent by now, had we not caved and let her move back again so many times over the years. Keeping a good thought for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
sleeping with doors locked; difficult child left, wants to come home, Part II
Top