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Slightly hopeful, but mostly terrified
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 251896" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It certainly IS sobering. I think of gfgbro in times like this. It has taken until he is 40 and has a child for him to get a "regular job". One he goes to every day, has benefits and gets paid for. </p><p></p><p>Gfgbro did OK in the army, though he constantly lost rank because he was insolent. Things like rearranging the tool shed with-o checking with-anyone. While his way WAS more efficient, the person in charge of it was not consulted and so bro lost rank. Every time he got up a rung he lost it 5 or 6 times before he managed to keep it for a MONTH.</p><p></p><p>He worked for the Forest Service in Idaho. did ok some, but it is seasonal work. He is VERY frugal, much like the older relatives who lived through the depression (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about it, actually) but never accumulated savings because alcoholism got in the way. </p><p></p><p>He actually managed to get his own contract for clearing a specific trail, but is totally incapable of managing his time, so he went way past deadline, mouthed off to the person who inspected it, and had to PAY BACK all the $$ he was paid for the 4 month job. It was a total disaster.</p><p></p><p>Every year he worked for the forest service he would come to my parents for Christmas and then stick around until late March or even Early May! He did NOT work during this time, even the year Wiz was 18 months and my mom made bro go get an apartment.</p><p></p><p>Bro found an apartment that should have been condemned. He paid $65 a MONTH for a small 3 room plus bath apartment. He only turned on the heat if the temp was below freezing. And he could NEVER grasp why I would not take my 18 month old child to his apt with dangerous wooden stairs outside, and a freezing interior. Especially when he was drunk every time I saw him that winter.</p><p></p><p>Bro could never understand how husband worked a 9 to 5 job. After rehab, when he had to stay instate for probation, he opened his own "business" trimming trees and doing light remodeling and home repairs. He couldn't see why he would get insurance for his business, why you don't give every client a low estimate with no wiggle room and then give them a 25&#37; to 40% discount when the job was more involved or something went wrong. And something ALWAYS went wrong. Like dropping a tree limb on the house where his psychiatrist had her offices and our therapist had offices. (We were THERE when it happened, luckily the damage was minimal and no one got hurt.) </p><p></p><p>Finally, after his divorce, bro got a job doing maintenance at the local college because he HAD to get an income. At that point he was living in the trailer our parents bought on some land for him to live on when he got married. He talks a lot about moving, would like to go back to Idaho. But until his daughter is out of school he won't move. And he won't buy a house because he just can't plan that far ahead. </p><p></p><p>I will say he finally seems to be having successes at his job. He has been there about 2 years, the longest he held any job ever, and seems to have a boss who understands him. </p><p></p><p>That is the most successful he has ever been at a job that required him to show up at regular times on a consistent basis for more than a couple of months in a row.</p><p></p><p>I will say that gfgbro WAS quite accepted and successful the season he went to Antarctica to work as a carpenter for the station down there. I think people who are a bit odd flourish in that environment. Not sure what it says about our kids, but I have often thought that gfgbro could have made a happy life down there. Except that it was hard to get alcohol. Now it wouldn't be a problem nearly as much, but it was then. </p><p></p><p>I think many of our kids will reach their vocational successes later in life, simply because it takes them FAR longer to grasp the social concepts that are needed for that success.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 251896, member: 1233"] It certainly IS sobering. I think of gfgbro in times like this. It has taken until he is 40 and has a child for him to get a "regular job". One he goes to every day, has benefits and gets paid for. Gfgbro did OK in the army, though he constantly lost rank because he was insolent. Things like rearranging the tool shed with-o checking with-anyone. While his way WAS more efficient, the person in charge of it was not consulted and so bro lost rank. Every time he got up a rung he lost it 5 or 6 times before he managed to keep it for a MONTH. He worked for the Forest Service in Idaho. did ok some, but it is seasonal work. He is VERY frugal, much like the older relatives who lived through the depression (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about it, actually) but never accumulated savings because alcoholism got in the way. He actually managed to get his own contract for clearing a specific trail, but is totally incapable of managing his time, so he went way past deadline, mouthed off to the person who inspected it, and had to PAY BACK all the $$ he was paid for the 4 month job. It was a total disaster. Every year he worked for the forest service he would come to my parents for Christmas and then stick around until late March or even Early May! He did NOT work during this time, even the year Wiz was 18 months and my mom made bro go get an apartment. Bro found an apartment that should have been condemned. He paid $65 a MONTH for a small 3 room plus bath apartment. He only turned on the heat if the temp was below freezing. And he could NEVER grasp why I would not take my 18 month old child to his apt with dangerous wooden stairs outside, and a freezing interior. Especially when he was drunk every time I saw him that winter. Bro could never understand how husband worked a 9 to 5 job. After rehab, when he had to stay instate for probation, he opened his own "business" trimming trees and doing light remodeling and home repairs. He couldn't see why he would get insurance for his business, why you don't give every client a low estimate with no wiggle room and then give them a 25% to 40% discount when the job was more involved or something went wrong. And something ALWAYS went wrong. Like dropping a tree limb on the house where his psychiatrist had her offices and our therapist had offices. (We were THERE when it happened, luckily the damage was minimal and no one got hurt.) Finally, after his divorce, bro got a job doing maintenance at the local college because he HAD to get an income. At that point he was living in the trailer our parents bought on some land for him to live on when he got married. He talks a lot about moving, would like to go back to Idaho. But until his daughter is out of school he won't move. And he won't buy a house because he just can't plan that far ahead. I will say he finally seems to be having successes at his job. He has been there about 2 years, the longest he held any job ever, and seems to have a boss who understands him. That is the most successful he has ever been at a job that required him to show up at regular times on a consistent basis for more than a couple of months in a row. I will say that gfgbro WAS quite accepted and successful the season he went to Antarctica to work as a carpenter for the station down there. I think people who are a bit odd flourish in that environment. Not sure what it says about our kids, but I have often thought that gfgbro could have made a happy life down there. Except that it was hard to get alcohol. Now it wouldn't be a problem nearly as much, but it was then. I think many of our kids will reach their vocational successes later in life, simply because it takes them FAR longer to grasp the social concepts that are needed for that success. [/QUOTE]
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