Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 707079" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Hi Acacia,</p><p></p><p>I stumbled on this site a few years ago when Googling <em>how to stop enabling</em>. Like you, I knew our dynamics were not healthy.</p><p></p><p>After reading post after post after post, I shared what I read with husband. We were amazed at the commonalities of our stories. (Who knew?) We knew families with difficult children, but had no idea there were many folks out there experiencing being blamed/held responsible for everything by adult offspring who were making very poor decisions.</p><p></p><p>Acacia, I cried and cried - big tears. It felt so wrong to "desert" our son. I still was not quite understanding the harm we were doing him. husband had figured it out about a year before. Our son had said/done so many hateful things to us. He said a LOT more hateful things after we cut off the $$. And, a few years later, he turned to my parents and now they are enabling him. (My father wanted to stop months ago; my mother thinks it is God's will for her to continue. No reasoning with her about anything. I have tried.)</p><p></p><p>You will get much better advice from others. Heck, I may think of better advice when I am more awake. I can tell you this....husband and my lives have improved immensely since Difficult Child has stopped asking for money. The hateful texts/emails have dwindled to perhaps three a year. He knows there is no more money. We have ignored his mean words. No responses to anything.</p><p></p><p>Of course, we want things to be different. Our Difficult Child is almost 36. The ball is in his court.</p><p></p><p>The sooner you escape this abuse, the better you will feel. Because, honestly, it takes a while from the time you cut free until the <strong>abuse </strong>stops. And, <strong>abuse</strong> is exactly what it is.</p><p></p><p>Stay close. I will be watching for your updates.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 707079, member: 17635"] Hi Acacia, I stumbled on this site a few years ago when Googling [I]how to stop enabling[/I]. Like you, I knew our dynamics were not healthy. After reading post after post after post, I shared what I read with husband. We were amazed at the commonalities of our stories. (Who knew?) We knew families with difficult children, but had no idea there were many folks out there experiencing being blamed/held responsible for everything by adult offspring who were making very poor decisions. Acacia, I cried and cried - big tears. It felt so wrong to "desert" our son. I still was not quite understanding the harm we were doing him. husband had figured it out about a year before. Our son had said/done so many hateful things to us. He said a LOT more hateful things after we cut off the $$. And, a few years later, he turned to my parents and now they are enabling him. (My father wanted to stop months ago; my mother thinks it is God's will for her to continue. No reasoning with her about anything. I have tried.) You will get much better advice from others. Heck, I may think of better advice when I am more awake. I can tell you this....husband and my lives have improved immensely since Difficult Child has stopped asking for money. The hateful texts/emails have dwindled to perhaps three a year. He knows there is no more money. We have ignored his mean words. No responses to anything. Of course, we want things to be different. Our Difficult Child is almost 36. The ball is in his court. The sooner you escape this abuse, the better you will feel. Because, honestly, it takes a while from the time you cut free until the [B]abuse [/B]stops. And, [B]abuse[/B] is exactly what it is. Stay close. I will be watching for your updates. Hugs, SS [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
Top