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The Watercooler
SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 558245" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Perhaps trying to educate him in ways that he can understand, he has to adjust to quite a bit and it's all new to him. Could you have him talk to one of your children's therapists to ask questions and get some information about just what you and your children have to deal with. I think it's a lot for someone outside of the family to have to grasp and it appears he doesn't have enough information to make any kind of rational judgment. Are there books you could give him? There are other parents here who have brought in a partner and over time they have learned to live in the difficult child world too, perhaps you could pick their brains on how they succeeded. I think it will take work and a real commitment from him and a real commitment for you too, to teach him and learn how to talk to him, and for both of you to find a way to communicate without blame and judgment. I agree with Insane, men tend to want to take action and fix a problem, all the nuances can be lost on them, but that doesn't mean he can't be educated. You're opening up a whole new world to him, it seems appropriate that there will be 'bumps' along the way that you both will have to learn to negotiate. You might both look at this as an opportunity to learn how to communicate in positive and healthy ways so that you can build a strong and loving connection with each other and with your children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 558245, member: 13542"] Perhaps trying to educate him in ways that he can understand, he has to adjust to quite a bit and it's all new to him. Could you have him talk to one of your children's therapists to ask questions and get some information about just what you and your children have to deal with. I think it's a lot for someone outside of the family to have to grasp and it appears he doesn't have enough information to make any kind of rational judgment. Are there books you could give him? There are other parents here who have brought in a partner and over time they have learned to live in the difficult child world too, perhaps you could pick their brains on how they succeeded. I think it will take work and a real commitment from him and a real commitment for you too, to teach him and learn how to talk to him, and for both of you to find a way to communicate without blame and judgment. I agree with Insane, men tend to want to take action and fix a problem, all the nuances can be lost on them, but that doesn't mean he can't be educated. You're opening up a whole new world to him, it seems appropriate that there will be 'bumps' along the way that you both will have to learn to negotiate. You might both look at this as an opportunity to learn how to communicate in positive and healthy ways so that you can build a strong and loving connection with each other and with your children. [/QUOTE]
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SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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