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The Watercooler
SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 558248" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>First, most kids listen to almost anyone better than their mom and even dads. (Yes this is a generalization ). I actually count on this sometimes! While at horseback riding if I want Q to pick up his jacket or wait for a second, I will even ask 1 of the people there to tell him to do it, and he always will do it for them. It's a nice respite for me. </p><p></p><p>Second, he sounds like he has some nice qualities but he doesn't sound like he has very much experience . It's easy to be an armchair coach. I don't know if this is possible, do you think he could just be a boyfriend? Maybe it doesn't have to be having a relationship or not having a relationship. Do you have to work towards marriage right now? I know it may be a huge compromise, but given that you do have 2 children with special needs, could that ever be a satisfying choice for you?? ( to not have an intensly committed relationship).....</p><p></p><p>I realize that could be a huge change in dreams for you and even for him, so it may not be an option, but it could be something to think about if not with him in a future relationship until your kids are grown. (Not like I say this lightly, I had to make that choice ). </p><p></p><p> Of course he still would need to understand that there differences in parenting your children compare to other children. You'd still have to come to a place where you weren't afraid.that he would criticize your children and your parenting. That could take lots of education and risk taking. Or a new boyfriend and that is not an easy thing to find---I understand that. Once you have kids it's just very hard to work on another relationship. Not impossible and certainly worth working toward if its your dream. So, just throwing out ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 558248, member: 12886"] First, most kids listen to almost anyone better than their mom and even dads. (Yes this is a generalization ). I actually count on this sometimes! While at horseback riding if I want Q to pick up his jacket or wait for a second, I will even ask 1 of the people there to tell him to do it, and he always will do it for them. It's a nice respite for me. Second, he sounds like he has some nice qualities but he doesn't sound like he has very much experience . It's easy to be an armchair coach. I don't know if this is possible, do you think he could just be a boyfriend? Maybe it doesn't have to be having a relationship or not having a relationship. Do you have to work towards marriage right now? I know it may be a huge compromise, but given that you do have 2 children with special needs, could that ever be a satisfying choice for you?? ( to not have an intensly committed relationship)..... I realize that could be a huge change in dreams for you and even for him, so it may not be an option, but it could be something to think about if not with him in a future relationship until your kids are grown. (Not like I say this lightly, I had to make that choice ). Of course he still would need to understand that there differences in parenting your children compare to other children. You'd still have to come to a place where you weren't afraid.that he would criticize your children and your parenting. That could take lots of education and risk taking. Or a new boyfriend and that is not an easy thing to find---I understand that. Once you have kids it's just very hard to work on another relationship. Not impossible and certainly worth working toward if its your dream. So, just throwing out ideas. [/QUOTE]
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SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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