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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 107530" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>MeowBunny, </p><p></p><p>Do you think at this point you are able to break down your situation into smaller problems or are you still somewhere in the Mad at the world and angry with yourself mood? </p><p></p><p>I ask because last month - nothing seemed to work. I was too depressed to figure any of it out. I never posted because I didn't even want anyone here to know that I couldn't figure my own self out. When I finally did work up what I consider courage to talk about it - I got a flood of suggestions and well wishes, some hugs, some talk straight off the cuff, no bones kinda ideas. And it was only then I was able to start helping myself with suggestions. </p><p></p><p>I get where you are coming about the suicide thing. Yes, yes - I know you would not do it, because your next sentence after said you would worry about your daughter. It's not uncommon when we feel so lost that we start internally processing solutions and suicide can come across as a last ditch effort. But we know it solves nothing. </p><p>So I'm not too worried about your statement to that effect. </p><p></p><p>I am worried about your depression and can't quite figure it out - up, down, up, middle, middle= down. Maybe YOU don't notice it - but I have. I am wondering if you wouldn't benefit from a medications tweak of some sort. Maybe you just need an increase or decrease in the Lexapro or not at all. There are places that will give you your medications for free, we can all work together to help with information - some of the brightest people I've ever known post here. Some of the most caring too. </p><p></p><p>Personally if what you are feeling is anything like what I did - it too will pass, but since you are on medications - maybe that is the most logical place to start. Walmart and Kmart and Target ALL have printable medications for $12.00 for 3 months - and I think Kmart * Walmart carry antidepressants. YOu have to get a psychiatrist to write them for 3 months at a whack. </p><p></p><p>Can you afford to go to a psychiatric doctor? No - then get your fingers in teh yellow pages under clinics and see who will see you gratis - they do exist. Even in good old sunny where you are. </p><p></p><p>As far as missing home? I moved under the same circumstances. I left almost everything behind. I was angry for leaving MY life, my job, MY friends, MY home, MY stuff. Ever time I would think about it? It made me furious. Until - I figured that all of that stuff - the job, the friends, the house, the possessions were NOT worth my life. I didn't feel that for a long time until I worked in therapy to find that I AM WORTH MORE THAN ALL OF THE STUFF I LEFT BEHIND - and no matter what age I am (because I was no chicky) and while it is hard - I can have a new life. IT's not the one I thought it would be - cripes I went from being a Senior Level Administrative Executive Assistant to the President of a Company - to running a dump truck. I had no friends. I had no money. difficult child and I lived in a stolen van for a couple of weeks to get cash to get a place - It was hard, it stunk - and I'm here today to tell you - I have junk for a yardsale coming out of my kazoo and I'm selling the kazoo too. Highest bidder. (author notes the kazoo sounds better if you place a small piece of wax paper over it before humming) </p><p></p><p>I don't see your situation as hopeless. I see it as hard, and I see you with a lot of resourceful friends that care about you very much. YEah - I know we aren't the friends you THOUGHT you'd have. WE're MUCH BETTER. lol </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your boo boo - and bad day - </p><p>Star</p><p>ps. NO MATTER WHAT - if nvts sends you cookies do not eat them. </p><p>PM me - I'LL make you a gift box.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 107530, member: 4964"] MeowBunny, Do you think at this point you are able to break down your situation into smaller problems or are you still somewhere in the Mad at the world and angry with yourself mood? I ask because last month - nothing seemed to work. I was too depressed to figure any of it out. I never posted because I didn't even want anyone here to know that I couldn't figure my own self out. When I finally did work up what I consider courage to talk about it - I got a flood of suggestions and well wishes, some hugs, some talk straight off the cuff, no bones kinda ideas. And it was only then I was able to start helping myself with suggestions. I get where you are coming about the suicide thing. Yes, yes - I know you would not do it, because your next sentence after said you would worry about your daughter. It's not uncommon when we feel so lost that we start internally processing solutions and suicide can come across as a last ditch effort. But we know it solves nothing. So I'm not too worried about your statement to that effect. I am worried about your depression and can't quite figure it out - up, down, up, middle, middle= down. Maybe YOU don't notice it - but I have. I am wondering if you wouldn't benefit from a medications tweak of some sort. Maybe you just need an increase or decrease in the Lexapro or not at all. There are places that will give you your medications for free, we can all work together to help with information - some of the brightest people I've ever known post here. Some of the most caring too. Personally if what you are feeling is anything like what I did - it too will pass, but since you are on medications - maybe that is the most logical place to start. Walmart and Kmart and Target ALL have printable medications for $12.00 for 3 months - and I think Kmart * Walmart carry antidepressants. YOu have to get a psychiatrist to write them for 3 months at a whack. Can you afford to go to a psychiatric doctor? No - then get your fingers in teh yellow pages under clinics and see who will see you gratis - they do exist. Even in good old sunny where you are. As far as missing home? I moved under the same circumstances. I left almost everything behind. I was angry for leaving MY life, my job, MY friends, MY home, MY stuff. Ever time I would think about it? It made me furious. Until - I figured that all of that stuff - the job, the friends, the house, the possessions were NOT worth my life. I didn't feel that for a long time until I worked in therapy to find that I AM WORTH MORE THAN ALL OF THE STUFF I LEFT BEHIND - and no matter what age I am (because I was no chicky) and while it is hard - I can have a new life. IT's not the one I thought it would be - cripes I went from being a Senior Level Administrative Executive Assistant to the President of a Company - to running a dump truck. I had no friends. I had no money. difficult child and I lived in a stolen van for a couple of weeks to get cash to get a place - It was hard, it stunk - and I'm here today to tell you - I have junk for a yardsale coming out of my kazoo and I'm selling the kazoo too. Highest bidder. (author notes the kazoo sounds better if you place a small piece of wax paper over it before humming) I don't see your situation as hopeless. I see it as hard, and I see you with a lot of resourceful friends that care about you very much. YEah - I know we aren't the friends you THOUGHT you'd have. WE're MUCH BETTER. lol Hugs for your boo boo - and bad day - Star ps. NO MATTER WHAT - if nvts sends you cookies do not eat them. PM me - I'LL make you a gift box. [/QUOTE]
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