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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 603664" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Skotti, </p><p>Really good question. I texted difficult child back several times with "Call 911" if you are in trouble. </p><p>He said he would never call 911 again even if he were "bleeding out". He said that the hospitalisations/doctors destroyed his life! Whatever. I am so tired of his ****!</p><p></p><p></p><p>DDD, </p><p>I hope he faces that man in the mirror soon!!! </p><p>husband easy child and I just got back from taking difficult child's oldest 2 children, our grandchildren, to Chuck e Cheese. </p><p>On the way to daughter in law's mother's home (where daughter in law and the grandkids live) J, who is 3 1/2 asked me ..."Grandma Tammy why doesn't daddy live at your home anymore?" I told her as matter o factly as I could that "Daddy needs to live in his own place now". She said, "At the hotel?". I said, "Yes". </p><p>I was in tears afterward...been a long time since I've felt tears run down my face. </p><p></p><p>When we dropped J and J off at daughter in law's mothers I told daughter in law that I needed to talk to her later. She texted me and said she couldn't wait for whatever I had to say...so I told her what my 3 1/2 yr old granddaughter had asked...I told her how sorry I was that my son isn't who he needs to be for her and the kids. That I know they all have paid a painful price. She said, "Yeah, she made me cry yesterday. I had to explain to her that when we go to grandma's that daddy wouldn't be there and then she started crying and begging to go visit daddy. She said, "You could drop me off and then come back for me". </p><p>Then daughter in law told me that the last time she was begging to see daddy that she had let grandaughter call him and he told her that he would see her next weekend...and then he never did :-(.</p><p></p><p>So I told husband, easy child and then daughter in law later that this is good reinforcement for me to realise that difficult child puts alcohol and drugs BEFORE his children. </p><p></p><p>I am angry at difficult child for only thinking of himself and I am sad for the little faces...the little hearts and minds that are trying so very hard to understand why daddy isn't here isn't with them...isn't being a daddy. </p><p></p><p>I will try also from now on to not use the term "Young" difficult child but simply difficult child. I am tired of viewing him like a child when he is a Man and a Father and should be acting like one!!!</p><p></p><p>I did talk to daughter in law about how I would like her to approach this "absent daddy" situation with the grandkids in the future. </p><p>I would like for her to always make this his problem, his lack from within, his missing out, his selfishness and issues. </p><p>I do not want my grandchildren to go through what I went through as a child feeling less than valuable as a human being because a parent isn't showing them the love they deserve. </p><p></p><p>DDD, I don't see this situation getting any better any time soon. I think you may be right and that difficult child will up the ante to demand his way. </p><p></p><p>My job is to let him fall. </p><p>I thank you all for helping me see that. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 603664, member: 3305"] Skotti, Really good question. I texted difficult child back several times with "Call 911" if you are in trouble. He said he would never call 911 again even if he were "bleeding out". He said that the hospitalisations/doctors destroyed his life! Whatever. I am so tired of his ****! DDD, I hope he faces that man in the mirror soon!!! husband easy child and I just got back from taking difficult child's oldest 2 children, our grandchildren, to Chuck e Cheese. On the way to daughter in law's mother's home (where daughter in law and the grandkids live) J, who is 3 1/2 asked me ..."Grandma Tammy why doesn't daddy live at your home anymore?" I told her as matter o factly as I could that "Daddy needs to live in his own place now". She said, "At the hotel?". I said, "Yes". I was in tears afterward...been a long time since I've felt tears run down my face. When we dropped J and J off at daughter in law's mothers I told daughter in law that I needed to talk to her later. She texted me and said she couldn't wait for whatever I had to say...so I told her what my 3 1/2 yr old granddaughter had asked...I told her how sorry I was that my son isn't who he needs to be for her and the kids. That I know they all have paid a painful price. She said, "Yeah, she made me cry yesterday. I had to explain to her that when we go to grandma's that daddy wouldn't be there and then she started crying and begging to go visit daddy. She said, "You could drop me off and then come back for me". Then daughter in law told me that the last time she was begging to see daddy that she had let grandaughter call him and he told her that he would see her next weekend...and then he never did :-(. So I told husband, easy child and then daughter in law later that this is good reinforcement for me to realise that difficult child puts alcohol and drugs BEFORE his children. I am angry at difficult child for only thinking of himself and I am sad for the little faces...the little hearts and minds that are trying so very hard to understand why daddy isn't here isn't with them...isn't being a daddy. I will try also from now on to not use the term "Young" difficult child but simply difficult child. I am tired of viewing him like a child when he is a Man and a Father and should be acting like one!!! I did talk to daughter in law about how I would like her to approach this "absent daddy" situation with the grandkids in the future. I would like for her to always make this his problem, his lack from within, his missing out, his selfishness and issues. I do not want my grandchildren to go through what I went through as a child feeling less than valuable as a human being because a parent isn't showing them the love they deserve. DDD, I don't see this situation getting any better any time soon. I think you may be right and that difficult child will up the ante to demand his way. My job is to let him fall. I thank you all for helping me see that. LMS [/QUOTE]
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