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So it's ten degrees and he gets off the bus in his tee-shirt only
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 10831" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Well, for some of the issues, you can try to work on a schedule type foundation- schedule showers in just as you might schedule laundry day- as in- we do laundry on Saturday, we scrub floors on Monday or whatever. Becuz if you leave it up to how they FEEL----and say shower when you feel dirty, that leaves it too intangible. </p><p>It is somewhat ironic that we want kids tobecome independant thinkers and for some issues we say- think for yourself- do not do what everyone else does just becuz everyone else does it-----and we say don't judge others on appearance, do not judge a book by it's cover- judge a person by their actions or by how they treat others or by their accomplishments, yet then we turn around and seem to contradict ourself. </p><p>We say we do not care what others think when we think they are looking at us critically. Or when we think they are butting in to our business- but then we do seem to care what they think after all. </p><p>And each person is going to have their own comfort range. Some people are perfectly comfortable when it is 70, others when it is 80 and some (my sis in law) only when it is 95. (or me, when it is 65) If our child is telling us they are not cold, why do we not accept their word? Maybe they really ARE comfortable. As for forgetting things, that is not purely for difficult children. Check the lost and found anywhere or look on a bus or train at the end of the day. If it is raining in the morning and then sunny at the end of the day, TONS of people forget their umbrellas, and they live on their own. And usually manage their life just fine. Ordinary non difficult child people forget all kinds of things in all kinds of places. </p><p>What is great is that Lucas seemed to have a reason, and it was a logical and easy to understand reason, and he was aware. He frogot an article of clothing that is NOT an every single day of life article of clothing. It was not his underwear, it was not his pants, it was not his shoes. Not those things he MUST wear in public every single day. It did not hurt anyone. </p><p>Gosh, look how many people lose their keys. And they do not notice until they NEED their keys, much of the time. </p><p></p><p>Make bathing a scheduled regular thing- as in on Mon Wed Fri we will bathe, no matter what- at 7 pm or whatever. (or every single nite or whatever schedule YOU find acceptable) Kinda like one of his "chores" - cuz that might be how he views it- some people LOVE showering, and for them it is a pleasure, but if it is percieved as a chore- then accept thats how he views it, and approach it in that manner. Personally I LIKE to do laundry and I do laundry every single day. BUT most people view doing laundry as a chore. So, rather than just doing it- they either have a certain day/time to do it or they do it when they run out of some type of clothes. They need a different motivator than I do to do that chore. But acknowledge he is not going to enjoy it as much as someone else. The shower most likely is not going to be it's own reward.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 10831, member: 1697"] Well, for some of the issues, you can try to work on a schedule type foundation- schedule showers in just as you might schedule laundry day- as in- we do laundry on Saturday, we scrub floors on Monday or whatever. Becuz if you leave it up to how they FEEL----and say shower when you feel dirty, that leaves it too intangible. It is somewhat ironic that we want kids tobecome independant thinkers and for some issues we say- think for yourself- do not do what everyone else does just becuz everyone else does it-----and we say don't judge others on appearance, do not judge a book by it's cover- judge a person by their actions or by how they treat others or by their accomplishments, yet then we turn around and seem to contradict ourself. We say we do not care what others think when we think they are looking at us critically. Or when we think they are butting in to our business- but then we do seem to care what they think after all. And each person is going to have their own comfort range. Some people are perfectly comfortable when it is 70, others when it is 80 and some (my sis in law) only when it is 95. (or me, when it is 65) If our child is telling us they are not cold, why do we not accept their word? Maybe they really ARE comfortable. As for forgetting things, that is not purely for difficult children. Check the lost and found anywhere or look on a bus or train at the end of the day. If it is raining in the morning and then sunny at the end of the day, TONS of people forget their umbrellas, and they live on their own. And usually manage their life just fine. Ordinary non difficult child people forget all kinds of things in all kinds of places. What is great is that Lucas seemed to have a reason, and it was a logical and easy to understand reason, and he was aware. He frogot an article of clothing that is NOT an every single day of life article of clothing. It was not his underwear, it was not his pants, it was not his shoes. Not those things he MUST wear in public every single day. It did not hurt anyone. Gosh, look how many people lose their keys. And they do not notice until they NEED their keys, much of the time. Make bathing a scheduled regular thing- as in on Mon Wed Fri we will bathe, no matter what- at 7 pm or whatever. (or every single nite or whatever schedule YOU find acceptable) Kinda like one of his "chores" - cuz that might be how he views it- some people LOVE showering, and for them it is a pleasure, but if it is percieved as a chore- then accept thats how he views it, and approach it in that manner. Personally I LIKE to do laundry and I do laundry every single day. BUT most people view doing laundry as a chore. So, rather than just doing it- they either have a certain day/time to do it or they do it when they run out of some type of clothes. They need a different motivator than I do to do that chore. But acknowledge he is not going to enjoy it as much as someone else. The shower most likely is not going to be it's own reward. [/QUOTE]
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So it's ten degrees and he gets off the bus in his tee-shirt only
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