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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 420584" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Problem is, I've <em>told</em> him what I need. In no uncertain terms. "I need you to do X." And any mention of my own pain is simply met with how awful his is, so that can not be an excuse for asking for additional help. Heck, when I was unable to use either my arm or my leg, he wouldn't do things I told him needed to be done.... </p><p></p><p>And until we went to this counselor, he did not do it. So I'm not sure I want to venture into that territory just yet on my own. For whatever reason, saying it there, even tho it was said in the very same way, he's doing it. (and i really think accountability to someone else is part of it, so I don't know how all this is going to end up, anyway.) I also can't walk around here boiling.</p><p></p><p>I'm also miffed that he accused me being on the computer as his reason for diving into the tv, and his "long work hours" and "the farm" justification of being tired. I just got a smart phone....prior to that, I can promise you, unless I was working, I was not on that computer 4-6 hours a night (with the exception of during the accident - and even then, he'd come home and I'd be dying for company and he'd flip on the tv and park). And his "long hours"? He's worked 3 weeks this year longer than 40 hours. And "the farm"? Please. Now that the animals are on pasture, he doesn't do <em>anything</em> with regards to them every day. Heck, sister in law picked up the pony 2 weeks ago for her daughter to ride, and he just missed it Monday when he went to check the livestock.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to ruin any chances by dredging things up when he's trying, but as exMIL says, its hard to see the good til the bad stops happening...</p><p></p><p>I love the 3rd person idea. Just don't know if husband would go for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 420584, member: 1848"] Problem is, I've [I]told[/I] him what I need. In no uncertain terms. "I need you to do X." And any mention of my own pain is simply met with how awful his is, so that can not be an excuse for asking for additional help. Heck, when I was unable to use either my arm or my leg, he wouldn't do things I told him needed to be done.... And until we went to this counselor, he did not do it. So I'm not sure I want to venture into that territory just yet on my own. For whatever reason, saying it there, even tho it was said in the very same way, he's doing it. (and i really think accountability to someone else is part of it, so I don't know how all this is going to end up, anyway.) I also can't walk around here boiling. I'm also miffed that he accused me being on the computer as his reason for diving into the tv, and his "long work hours" and "the farm" justification of being tired. I just got a smart phone....prior to that, I can promise you, unless I was working, I was not on that computer 4-6 hours a night (with the exception of during the accident - and even then, he'd come home and I'd be dying for company and he'd flip on the tv and park). And his "long hours"? He's worked 3 weeks this year longer than 40 hours. And "the farm"? Please. Now that the animals are on pasture, he doesn't do [I]anything[/I] with regards to them every day. Heck, sister in law picked up the pony 2 weeks ago for her daughter to ride, and he just missed it Monday when he went to check the livestock. I don't want to ruin any chances by dredging things up when he's trying, but as exMIL says, its hard to see the good til the bad stops happening... I love the 3rd person idea. Just don't know if husband would go for it. [/QUOTE]
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