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Substance Abuse
So this is where we are at
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 535028" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>CJ you are inside my head and said exactly what I think. I do believe with all my heart that nature trumps nuture almost always. I also think that if you are born with resilience that goes a long way in counteracting any of the adoption issues that bog down our difficult child's. I know my difficult child was not born with resilience. I know my difficult child always thought she was different even though she had a very large extended family with cousins her age who loved her no matter what her biology was. I too cringe when I hear people talk about how a child looks so much like their parent and I agree there is no malice intended but for our adopted difficult child's it is a huge reminder that they don't know who they look like. With all the talk about how family are those who are there for you as you grow up and love you and take care of you, they still feel they aren't good enough because they were not wanted by their birthparent.</p><p></p><p>husband and I have discussed this many times and have not come to a conclusion on what would help. We went so far as to say they should not have adoptions because of the problems. I don't know. I do know I love difficult child as if she came out of my body but I don't think she feels that</p><p>way.</p><p></p><p>TL we were told in our post adoption seminars that 2/3's of all adoption have some pyschological problems ranging from mild to severe. As if that didn't scare us off, we added substance abuse with the birthparent and were still naive enough to believe we could make a bigger difference than we did.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 535028, member: 59"] CJ you are inside my head and said exactly what I think. I do believe with all my heart that nature trumps nuture almost always. I also think that if you are born with resilience that goes a long way in counteracting any of the adoption issues that bog down our difficult child's. I know my difficult child was not born with resilience. I know my difficult child always thought she was different even though she had a very large extended family with cousins her age who loved her no matter what her biology was. I too cringe when I hear people talk about how a child looks so much like their parent and I agree there is no malice intended but for our adopted difficult child's it is a huge reminder that they don't know who they look like. With all the talk about how family are those who are there for you as you grow up and love you and take care of you, they still feel they aren't good enough because they were not wanted by their birthparent. husband and I have discussed this many times and have not come to a conclusion on what would help. We went so far as to say they should not have adoptions because of the problems. I don't know. I do know I love difficult child as if she came out of my body but I don't think she feels that way. TL we were told in our post adoption seminars that 2/3's of all adoption have some pyschological problems ranging from mild to severe. As if that didn't scare us off, we added substance abuse with the birthparent and were still naive enough to believe we could make a bigger difference than we did. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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