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So tired of the meanness!
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<blockquote data-quote="graceupongrace" data-source="post: 273101" data-attributes="member: 7371"><p>Thanks for responding!</p><p></p><p>Trinity: I really appreciate all your ideas. I am trying to do many of those things. I eliminated little rules in favor of one big one: No respect, no privileges. When he asks me to buy favorite foods, I tell him that he is not entitled to make special requests as long as he is being hateful and disrespectful. Period. There will be food in the house, and it may not be what he would choose, but there will be food. I stopped packing lunches for him when he repeatedly threw them away -- the last straw was when I watched him chop a sandwich into bits because it wasn't what he wanted. That's it -- I'm done with that. He does fix most of his own meals (although "meal" is rounding it up -- LOL). I think he believes he's hurting me because I love to cook, and I'm a good cook. But I'm over that; it doesn't faze me any more. I also quit washing his clothes when he quit helping fold and put away. </p><p><em></em></p><p><em>"Do not engage with him, do not give him the opportunity to hurt you." </em> I do need to stop engaging in conversations when he's being horrid -- thank you for the reminder!</p><p></p><p>You're right about the effect on easy child. Much of this happens when he's already in bed, in the shower or at school. But I will keep an eye on that. I try to spend lots of positive time with just him, and there are a few dads at church who always include him in activities, which I love -- he gets to see good role models in action.</p><p></p><p>DaisyFace: He likes that movie! Gotta try it.</p><p></p><p>MidwestMom: He's always been defiant, but the rudeness seems to have increased with the teen years. He's like a typical teen times 10. Occasionally I ask what Friend A or Friend B would think of him if they heard him speaking to me that way (he has very nice, polite friends), and that seems to give him pause. But not for long.</p><p></p><p>I'm so thankful to be able to vent with people who "get it." <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="graceupongrace, post: 273101, member: 7371"] Thanks for responding! Trinity: I really appreciate all your ideas. I am trying to do many of those things. I eliminated little rules in favor of one big one: No respect, no privileges. When he asks me to buy favorite foods, I tell him that he is not entitled to make special requests as long as he is being hateful and disrespectful. Period. There will be food in the house, and it may not be what he would choose, but there will be food. I stopped packing lunches for him when he repeatedly threw them away -- the last straw was when I watched him chop a sandwich into bits because it wasn't what he wanted. That's it -- I'm done with that. He does fix most of his own meals (although "meal" is rounding it up -- LOL). I think he believes he's hurting me because I love to cook, and I'm a good cook. But I'm over that; it doesn't faze me any more. I also quit washing his clothes when he quit helping fold and put away. [I] "Do not engage with him, do not give him the opportunity to hurt you." [/I] I do need to stop engaging in conversations when he's being horrid -- thank you for the reminder! You're right about the effect on easy child. Much of this happens when he's already in bed, in the shower or at school. But I will keep an eye on that. I try to spend lots of positive time with just him, and there are a few dads at church who always include him in activities, which I love -- he gets to see good role models in action. DaisyFace: He likes that movie! Gotta try it. MidwestMom: He's always been defiant, but the rudeness seems to have increased with the teen years. He's like a typical teen times 10. Occasionally I ask what Friend A or Friend B would think of him if they heard him speaking to me that way (he has very nice, polite friends), and that seems to give him pause. But not for long. I'm so thankful to be able to vent with people who "get it." :happy: [/QUOTE]
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So tired of the meanness!
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