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So today difficult child earns me a $80 ticket.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 181742" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Shari, a couple of thoughts about the seat belt thing. We've had compulsory seat belt legislation in Australia for decades, so I've had experience both with my kids, and with hearing the various problems when kids are difficult about it, like weeGFG. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a Houdini too, although not so much in the car (I think she learnt to be obedient there). In the stroller she was a menace - I kept adding extra leather straps to the five point harness on the stroller and she could still get out within seconds.</p><p></p><p>What worked for us - </p><p></p><p>1) The legal seat belt requirements for kids, for us, includes a five point harness. The buckle is at about navel position on the kid and has a stiff catch. Generally too stiff for a very young child to open, but not so stiff a parent can't unbuckle to rescue the kid in the event of an accident. We found our kids began to be able to unbuckle at about 5 to 6 years old, by which time (hopefully) that had learned to stay buckled up. The five point harness also had to be on securely, and because it holds them firmly over both shoulders and legs as well as tummy, I think they felt more secure.</p><p></p><p>2) For kids who don't learn, or who for various reasons don't comply, there are gadgets, covers etc which can go over the buckle and can only be undone by a parent. The harness can't be loosened by the wearer, the extension bits are behind the child seat that the harness is attached to. One buckle cover I've seen is soft and made with a mixture of foam rubber, velcro and nylon webbing.</p><p></p><p>3) Something I don't recommend, but used to use in the bad old days when smacking was accepted - I had a bright red fly swat beside me in the car. Any misbehaviour and the fly swat got used on the kid causing trouble. This included trying to get loose in the seat belt. The bright colour was as much a deterrent as the whistling sound it made. The swat is soft, it bends a great deal when you use it so doesn't really hurt. But the point is not to hurt, but to send a short, clear and immediate message that bad behaviour must stop NOW.</p><p></p><p>4) Ask the police for advice. You have a kid who keeps getting loose despite your best efforts. You are not the sort of parent who the punishment is for; you are not the sort who doesn't care about safety and who lets the kids ride free of seat belts. No, you just have a kid who doesn't seem to stay in touch with this rule no matter how hard you try, and who sometimes gets loose before you realise (because he's good at ducking below your radar, especially when you're trying to keep your eyes on the road plus other kids).</p><p>So asking the cops for suggestions, as well as any gadgets you can LEGALLY use to keep him in his seat, might be helpful. Clearly, being told by a cop to smack him once for every dollar he cost is not going to be legal, however tempting it might be. Besides, this kid doesn't learn, it wouldn't prevent a recurrence. Your aim now is to prevent a recurrence.</p><p></p><p>If there isn't any such device available that you can use, think about designing one. What you need is something that wraps over and under the buckle, completely covering it. You need a rounded piece of hard plastic (like a cricket protector that male cricketers wear, to protect their private parts from collision with a very solid cricket ball moving at speed) that will fit over the buckle bit that you press to release the belt. The whole thing could be fabric-covered with velcro on the ends so it can attach easily. If you make the velcro pieces wide and long (say, three or four inch squares of velcro to meet and lock) then his fingers should be too weak to pull it apart, especially if you can then get the end of the strap folder through a loop and back on itself. Using a second, smaller piece of velcro to lock down the end of the strap should finish the job - to get out, he would need to unlock the end of the strap, thread the strap back through the belt loop underneath the buckle somewhere and then pull apart the strap ends, to lift the hard plastic shell off the seat belt release button. Then press the buttron.</p><p>The other advantage of using velcro - you should hear it as it releases. Several square inches of good velcro make a loud sound. And you should hear that sound well before he gets loose.</p><p>Of course, this means getting him into and out of his harness will take a bit longer, but that is HIS problem, having to wait until you're ready. With practice, you can be quick. </p><p></p><p>Check that such a device is legal according to your state's seat belt regulations, but something like that used with a five point harness (tell difficult child that all the top racing drivers use a five point harness), if it's legal, should hold him for long enough to avoid any further tickets.</p><p></p><p>And if such a device doesn't already exist, then patent it. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure we have something like this in Australia. You could find something, mail order it maybe.</p><p></p><p>If you have to invent something, make its function counter-intuitive, so he has to pull something tighter (or seem to) to get closer to getting it released. A kid with impulse control then has to THINK about what he is doing, and hopefully should then remember, "I must not do this."</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 181742, member: 1991"] Shari, a couple of thoughts about the seat belt thing. We've had compulsory seat belt legislation in Australia for decades, so I've had experience both with my kids, and with hearing the various problems when kids are difficult about it, like weeGFG. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a Houdini too, although not so much in the car (I think she learnt to be obedient there). In the stroller she was a menace - I kept adding extra leather straps to the five point harness on the stroller and she could still get out within seconds. What worked for us - 1) The legal seat belt requirements for kids, for us, includes a five point harness. The buckle is at about navel position on the kid and has a stiff catch. Generally too stiff for a very young child to open, but not so stiff a parent can't unbuckle to rescue the kid in the event of an accident. We found our kids began to be able to unbuckle at about 5 to 6 years old, by which time (hopefully) that had learned to stay buckled up. The five point harness also had to be on securely, and because it holds them firmly over both shoulders and legs as well as tummy, I think they felt more secure. 2) For kids who don't learn, or who for various reasons don't comply, there are gadgets, covers etc which can go over the buckle and can only be undone by a parent. The harness can't be loosened by the wearer, the extension bits are behind the child seat that the harness is attached to. One buckle cover I've seen is soft and made with a mixture of foam rubber, velcro and nylon webbing. 3) Something I don't recommend, but used to use in the bad old days when smacking was accepted - I had a bright red fly swat beside me in the car. Any misbehaviour and the fly swat got used on the kid causing trouble. This included trying to get loose in the seat belt. The bright colour was as much a deterrent as the whistling sound it made. The swat is soft, it bends a great deal when you use it so doesn't really hurt. But the point is not to hurt, but to send a short, clear and immediate message that bad behaviour must stop NOW. 4) Ask the police for advice. You have a kid who keeps getting loose despite your best efforts. You are not the sort of parent who the punishment is for; you are not the sort who doesn't care about safety and who lets the kids ride free of seat belts. No, you just have a kid who doesn't seem to stay in touch with this rule no matter how hard you try, and who sometimes gets loose before you realise (because he's good at ducking below your radar, especially when you're trying to keep your eyes on the road plus other kids). So asking the cops for suggestions, as well as any gadgets you can LEGALLY use to keep him in his seat, might be helpful. Clearly, being told by a cop to smack him once for every dollar he cost is not going to be legal, however tempting it might be. Besides, this kid doesn't learn, it wouldn't prevent a recurrence. Your aim now is to prevent a recurrence. If there isn't any such device available that you can use, think about designing one. What you need is something that wraps over and under the buckle, completely covering it. You need a rounded piece of hard plastic (like a cricket protector that male cricketers wear, to protect their private parts from collision with a very solid cricket ball moving at speed) that will fit over the buckle bit that you press to release the belt. The whole thing could be fabric-covered with velcro on the ends so it can attach easily. If you make the velcro pieces wide and long (say, three or four inch squares of velcro to meet and lock) then his fingers should be too weak to pull it apart, especially if you can then get the end of the strap folder through a loop and back on itself. Using a second, smaller piece of velcro to lock down the end of the strap should finish the job - to get out, he would need to unlock the end of the strap, thread the strap back through the belt loop underneath the buckle somewhere and then pull apart the strap ends, to lift the hard plastic shell off the seat belt release button. Then press the buttron. The other advantage of using velcro - you should hear it as it releases. Several square inches of good velcro make a loud sound. And you should hear that sound well before he gets loose. Of course, this means getting him into and out of his harness will take a bit longer, but that is HIS problem, having to wait until you're ready. With practice, you can be quick. Check that such a device is legal according to your state's seat belt regulations, but something like that used with a five point harness (tell difficult child that all the top racing drivers use a five point harness), if it's legal, should hold him for long enough to avoid any further tickets. And if such a device doesn't already exist, then patent it. I'm sure we have something like this in Australia. You could find something, mail order it maybe. If you have to invent something, make its function counter-intuitive, so he has to pull something tighter (or seem to) to get closer to getting it released. A kid with impulse control then has to THINK about what he is doing, and hopefully should then remember, "I must not do this." Marg [/QUOTE]
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So today difficult child earns me a $80 ticket.
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