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General Parenting
So very tired of all the koi, having trouble functioning...
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 566185" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>greenrene - </p><p></p><p>Oh been there done that. And yes, I, too, have been told tooo many times that I "favor" DS...or I need to improve my relationship with difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Well, pooh! It takes TWO people to have a good relationship. If DS talks to me, shares his day with me, wants to do things with me - then heck, yes, I am going to have a much better relationship with him than with a person who hates me, calls me names, and does everything in her power to avoid me at all costs. It should be a no-brainer...but instead, was usually interpreted as a parenting failure on my part.</p><p></p><p>What helped in our household seems counter-intuitive - but things improved immensely. I started shutting difficult child out. Yep.</p><p></p><p>Instead of trying to include her and bend over backwards and make things nice and try to entice her...I did the opposite. I did what *I* wanted and I ignored all of difficult child's baloney. And if she couldn't bring herself to cooperate enough for the family (or me in particular) to particpiate in some event? Then other arrangements were made for difficult child (aka babysitter - YES, even at her age...find a family friend to watch her for you) and the family went on as planned.</p><p></p><p>As far as the outrageous stories?</p><p></p><p>We still get those. *I* do not get drawn in...nor do I try to rationalize difficult child into admitting the truth. I try to let natural consequences prevail. If others get drawn in? There's not much I can do...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 566185, member: 6546"] greenrene - Oh been there done that. And yes, I, too, have been told tooo many times that I "favor" DS...or I need to improve my relationship with difficult child. Well, pooh! It takes TWO people to have a good relationship. If DS talks to me, shares his day with me, wants to do things with me - then heck, yes, I am going to have a much better relationship with him than with a person who hates me, calls me names, and does everything in her power to avoid me at all costs. It should be a no-brainer...but instead, was usually interpreted as a parenting failure on my part. What helped in our household seems counter-intuitive - but things improved immensely. I started shutting difficult child out. Yep. Instead of trying to include her and bend over backwards and make things nice and try to entice her...I did the opposite. I did what *I* wanted and I ignored all of difficult child's baloney. And if she couldn't bring herself to cooperate enough for the family (or me in particular) to particpiate in some event? Then other arrangements were made for difficult child (aka babysitter - YES, even at her age...find a family friend to watch her for you) and the family went on as planned. As far as the outrageous stories? We still get those. *I* do not get drawn in...nor do I try to rationalize difficult child into admitting the truth. I try to let natural consequences prevail. If others get drawn in? There's not much I can do... [/QUOTE]
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So very tired of all the koi, having trouble functioning...
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