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So very tired of all the koi, having trouble functioning...
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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 566415" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>Thank all of you so much for the responses and support - it is so nice to know that others understand.</p><p></p><p>The Thanksgiving story was most definitely fishing for attention. I just hope that there isn't too much backlash with her classmates thinking she's crazy. She has always been an attention-fisher, good or bad. She actually seems to thrive on negative attention and has been that way since I met her. It's mind-boggling.</p><p></p><p>(sister in law thinks that she's fishing for negative attention because it's the only attention she can get, you know, because husband and I aren't parenting her like we should. I KNOW that's boloney. It doesn't matter HOW much positive attention difficult child gets, it's never enough apparently.)</p><p></p><p>Back in the early years, most of the parenting was left to me. husband was self-employed in the remodeling business and worked ALL the time. When the economy took a downturn, it got to be really stressful - he was still working all the time, I was the one who dealt with a very difficult difficult child most of the time, AND we had massive financial stress. Then 3 1/2 years ago, my father in law offered husband a job in the family business. This meant we had to move to FL, but it was an offer that we would have been idiots to refuse. Since we've been here, husband has been able to be much more involved in parenting, and I've been able to "make" him be more involved. There's still much room for improvement, but at least that part is on an upward trajectory.</p><p></p><p>Biomom lives in NC and is pretty much out of the picture except for phone calls a few times a month. husband was "with" her during a time in his life when he was really struggling with his own difficult child-dom, a time when he didn't care about anyone, including himself. He was a major difficult child back then, but once he knew he was going to be a daddy, it was the kick in the pants he needed to get his life on track. I met him a couple of years later. Anyway, back in 2000, husband and I had been dating for a few months when he decided that he wanted to move to NC to be closer to difficult child, who was 2 at the time and living with biomom in a pretty rough situation. He asked me to go with him, and I agreed - we knew we wanted to be together and eventually get married, so we both moved to NC and rented a house near biomom. We ended up with difficult child a LOT, and I was able to see just how dire the situation was for difficult child living with biomom - they lived in a tiny, filthy house, biomom couldn't ever hold a job, etc. It was bad. One day, a few months after we moved to NC, biomom showed up with difficult child and pretty much gave her to husband, saying that she knew she couldn't handle the job of raising her. She signed custody over to husband, and that was that. BAM, I was a full-time mom to a kid I barely knew, whom I loved dearly but had a really hard time with. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into.</p><p></p><p>We ended up moving back to KY with difficult child. She has been difficult the entire time I've known her. She has always greatly struggled socially and academically as well. Her behavior issues have caused ME to struggle socially, and I'm only just now coming out of that shell now that my own sons are getting more involved with school stuff.</p><p></p><p>One more major thing - difficult child is OBSESSED with celebrities. Like, way beyond "normal" teenage obsession. It's so very annoying, but it's also one of those issues we've had to just put in Basket C for our own sanity's sake.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I'm rambling... that's the very condensed version of difficult child's history. I really, REALLY appreciate the support here. It means SO much to be understood and not feel so alone in GFGdom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 566415, member: 9177"] Thank all of you so much for the responses and support - it is so nice to know that others understand. The Thanksgiving story was most definitely fishing for attention. I just hope that there isn't too much backlash with her classmates thinking she's crazy. She has always been an attention-fisher, good or bad. She actually seems to thrive on negative attention and has been that way since I met her. It's mind-boggling. (sister in law thinks that she's fishing for negative attention because it's the only attention she can get, you know, because husband and I aren't parenting her like we should. I KNOW that's boloney. It doesn't matter HOW much positive attention difficult child gets, it's never enough apparently.) Back in the early years, most of the parenting was left to me. husband was self-employed in the remodeling business and worked ALL the time. When the economy took a downturn, it got to be really stressful - he was still working all the time, I was the one who dealt with a very difficult difficult child most of the time, AND we had massive financial stress. Then 3 1/2 years ago, my father in law offered husband a job in the family business. This meant we had to move to FL, but it was an offer that we would have been idiots to refuse. Since we've been here, husband has been able to be much more involved in parenting, and I've been able to "make" him be more involved. There's still much room for improvement, but at least that part is on an upward trajectory. Biomom lives in NC and is pretty much out of the picture except for phone calls a few times a month. husband was "with" her during a time in his life when he was really struggling with his own difficult child-dom, a time when he didn't care about anyone, including himself. He was a major difficult child back then, but once he knew he was going to be a daddy, it was the kick in the pants he needed to get his life on track. I met him a couple of years later. Anyway, back in 2000, husband and I had been dating for a few months when he decided that he wanted to move to NC to be closer to difficult child, who was 2 at the time and living with biomom in a pretty rough situation. He asked me to go with him, and I agreed - we knew we wanted to be together and eventually get married, so we both moved to NC and rented a house near biomom. We ended up with difficult child a LOT, and I was able to see just how dire the situation was for difficult child living with biomom - they lived in a tiny, filthy house, biomom couldn't ever hold a job, etc. It was bad. One day, a few months after we moved to NC, biomom showed up with difficult child and pretty much gave her to husband, saying that she knew she couldn't handle the job of raising her. She signed custody over to husband, and that was that. BAM, I was a full-time mom to a kid I barely knew, whom I loved dearly but had a really hard time with. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. We ended up moving back to KY with difficult child. She has been difficult the entire time I've known her. She has always greatly struggled socially and academically as well. Her behavior issues have caused ME to struggle socially, and I'm only just now coming out of that shell now that my own sons are getting more involved with school stuff. One more major thing - difficult child is OBSESSED with celebrities. Like, way beyond "normal" teenage obsession. It's so very annoying, but it's also one of those issues we've had to just put in Basket C for our own sanity's sake. Anyway, I'm rambling... that's the very condensed version of difficult child's history. I really, REALLY appreciate the support here. It means SO much to be understood and not feel so alone in GFGdom. [/QUOTE]
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