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So very tired of all the koi, having trouble functioning...
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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 566627" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>She does (or would, if we let her) talk about celebrity stuff ALL the time. It got so very irritating to everyone, and these days we have to tell her "Okay, that's enough about celebrities - find something else to talk about." Sometimes I've wondered if the celebrity obsession stems partly from her social issues. She's always been difficult socially. She was mean and bossy to other kids when she was little, and since becoming a tween/teen she just seems to have no clue whatsoever how to conduct herself or be a friend. She talks about her "BFFs back in KY" as if she had wonderful relationships before we moved. Part of why I'm GLAD we moved is because it was getting really bad with the neighborhood kids - they all played together, went to church together, etc, and difficult child was becoming more and more excluded from their little group. The same thing happened at her former (again, very small) school - she got more and more alienated from the kids because she is just so socially inept.</p><p></p><p>DF, my difficult child has also bragged about the most outrageoous stuff - that's part of why she isn't allowed to use the Internet and got her cell phone taken away. She would tell tales about breaking limbs and being in the hospital, she would brag about boyfriends that didn't exist, etc.</p><p></p><p>She very much identifies with her "meanness." It's really sad, and the perplexing thing is that it doesn't seem to bother her one bit that she is rude to us, especially me because I'm the evil stepmom. She almost seems to brag about it at times. I don't get any sense from her that she is remotely interested in bettering herself - she thinks she's just hunky dorey; everyone ELSE is the problem, again, especially me.</p><p></p><p>One thing that I'm trying really hard to do (and it is SO hard) is disengage from the back-and-forth bickering. I don't like for her to get the "last word" because to me, it seems like allowing that gives HER power. My husband sees that as perpetuating the problem, but I really have a hard time not snapping back at a rude, disrespectful jab from her (not in a rude, disrespectful way, but in a "you can't talk to me like that, I'm the parent" kind of way).</p><p></p><p>As to the knowing who you are/defining skill thing, yeah that is hard. She is the kid who makes bad grades, the kid who talks about celebrities too much, the kid who tells outlandish stories, and the kid who has to go to tutoring every day. She does have some positive attributes, but the negative is so pervasive. She is very good with and loves babies and small children. She is very good at finding things that are missing. She CAN be a very good helper (when she's in the mood). I've been letting her do more in the kitchen, trying to give her confidence in that arena.</p><p></p><p>It's all just exhausting, though. She is SO hard to parent!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 566627, member: 9177"] She does (or would, if we let her) talk about celebrity stuff ALL the time. It got so very irritating to everyone, and these days we have to tell her "Okay, that's enough about celebrities - find something else to talk about." Sometimes I've wondered if the celebrity obsession stems partly from her social issues. She's always been difficult socially. She was mean and bossy to other kids when she was little, and since becoming a tween/teen she just seems to have no clue whatsoever how to conduct herself or be a friend. She talks about her "BFFs back in KY" as if she had wonderful relationships before we moved. Part of why I'm GLAD we moved is because it was getting really bad with the neighborhood kids - they all played together, went to church together, etc, and difficult child was becoming more and more excluded from their little group. The same thing happened at her former (again, very small) school - she got more and more alienated from the kids because she is just so socially inept. DF, my difficult child has also bragged about the most outrageoous stuff - that's part of why she isn't allowed to use the Internet and got her cell phone taken away. She would tell tales about breaking limbs and being in the hospital, she would brag about boyfriends that didn't exist, etc. She very much identifies with her "meanness." It's really sad, and the perplexing thing is that it doesn't seem to bother her one bit that she is rude to us, especially me because I'm the evil stepmom. She almost seems to brag about it at times. I don't get any sense from her that she is remotely interested in bettering herself - she thinks she's just hunky dorey; everyone ELSE is the problem, again, especially me. One thing that I'm trying really hard to do (and it is SO hard) is disengage from the back-and-forth bickering. I don't like for her to get the "last word" because to me, it seems like allowing that gives HER power. My husband sees that as perpetuating the problem, but I really have a hard time not snapping back at a rude, disrespectful jab from her (not in a rude, disrespectful way, but in a "you can't talk to me like that, I'm the parent" kind of way). As to the knowing who you are/defining skill thing, yeah that is hard. She is the kid who makes bad grades, the kid who talks about celebrities too much, the kid who tells outlandish stories, and the kid who has to go to tutoring every day. She does have some positive attributes, but the negative is so pervasive. She is very good with and loves babies and small children. She is very good at finding things that are missing. She CAN be a very good helper (when she's in the mood). I've been letting her do more in the kitchen, trying to give her confidence in that arena. It's all just exhausting, though. She is SO hard to parent! [/QUOTE]
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So very tired of all the koi, having trouble functioning...
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