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So What's So Bad About Me, Anyway...?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 356776" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">I used to wonder how I could live less than 5 miles from my sister and only see her maybe at Christmas time and once or twice throughout the rest of the year for family functions - the rest of our sibs all live far away. I was talking to my therapist about it once/twice and she suggested that my sister is envious of my and my life. That really struck me odd at the time. I asked her why and she explained that despite all of my personal ups and downs, trials and tribulations, I managed to come out the other side and still be mostly sane, my house is a relatively calm place to be, and my kids are for the most part well adjusted and kind human beings not into drinking and drugging. Alternatively, her house is always chaos and her kids are big drinkers and druggers (one is in rehab as I write) and while I try to minimize the drama, seems my sister is always seeking it out. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">All my adult life I thought my sister was the 'together' one because her H made lots of money and they wanted for nothing, kids went to private schools and colleges, etc., while I always had to really work to make things happen like vacas, pay bills, and have a life. Seems I wasn't looking at the whole picture.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">As for my other sibs, we stay in contact somewhat, but I only speak with one sister and my brother when it's warranted - not for any other reasons except we're all so busy. And I have one sister who lives really far away who I feel closest to and we all seem to stay in touch over Facebook. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">I've learned to cultivate good adult friendships - I only have a couple - and cherish them, nurture them. We get to choose who we're close with on an emotoinal level and your family may not be your best pick. Friends are the ones I usually call when I need to vent (or come here) and rely on. I love my family, but my friends have been there more for me over the years and I appreciate that. I recall feeling guilty about being closer with my friends than family, but again, a therapist helped me to understand that being family does not provide instant security and closeness.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Outside of CD board, do you maintain any friendships? I think it's important to have at least one good friend. And I know it is difficult to keep a friend when you have a difficult child that may seem nuts all the time, but I'm hoping that you're able to find or keep one person - Your Someone Special. Hugs~ </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 356776, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]I used to wonder how I could live less than 5 miles from my sister and only see her maybe at Christmas time and once or twice throughout the rest of the year for family functions - the rest of our sibs all live far away. I was talking to my therapist about it once/twice and she suggested that my sister is envious of my and my life. That really struck me odd at the time. I asked her why and she explained that despite all of my personal ups and downs, trials and tribulations, I managed to come out the other side and still be mostly sane, my house is a relatively calm place to be, and my kids are for the most part well adjusted and kind human beings not into drinking and drugging. Alternatively, her house is always chaos and her kids are big drinkers and druggers (one is in rehab as I write) and while I try to minimize the drama, seems my sister is always seeking it out. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]All my adult life I thought my sister was the 'together' one because her H made lots of money and they wanted for nothing, kids went to private schools and colleges, etc., while I always had to really work to make things happen like vacas, pay bills, and have a life. Seems I wasn't looking at the whole picture.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]As for my other sibs, we stay in contact somewhat, but I only speak with one sister and my brother when it's warranted - not for any other reasons except we're all so busy. And I have one sister who lives really far away who I feel closest to and we all seem to stay in touch over Facebook. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]I've learned to cultivate good adult friendships - I only have a couple - and cherish them, nurture them. We get to choose who we're close with on an emotoinal level and your family may not be your best pick. Friends are the ones I usually call when I need to vent (or come here) and rely on. I love my family, but my friends have been there more for me over the years and I appreciate that. I recall feeling guilty about being closer with my friends than family, but again, a therapist helped me to understand that being family does not provide instant security and closeness.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Outside of CD board, do you maintain any friendships? I think it's important to have at least one good friend. And I know it is difficult to keep a friend when you have a difficult child that may seem nuts all the time, but I'm hoping that you're able to find or keep one person - Your Someone Special. Hugs~ [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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