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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 746841" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Oh Acacia, I know the anguish you feel all too well. I wish I could say that at some point the worry goes away completely but it doesn't. I can tell you that there comes a point when it's much easier to not wallow in it. </p><p>Just last night my husband asked me if I had heard anything from our son, had he posted anything on Facebook. I told him no. It's right at a month since we have heard anything from him. I know that he was to be finished with his parole on Feb 15th and would be done with the half way house. I also know that he did not plan well for when he would be done. It's my guess that he's back to wandering and couch surfing, basically being homeless. I live with the knowledge that I may never hear from him again. I don't like it but I do accept it. While my son was in the half way house he did tell me that he was attending AA meetings and that he would keep up with them after he was done with his parole. While I hope that's true I do not pin my hopes on it. I know my son too well. </p><p>I feel your pain and I know what you are going through. I'm so sorry!! I would not wish this kind of pain and anguish on anyone.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My son also has told me before "Mom, we really need to work on our relationship" but I know what he really means. He wants things to go back to the way they were before when I would enable him and allow him to manipulate me. Here's the thing, if my son were really serious about improving our relationship then he wouldn't have to say it, instead he would start doing the work to make our relationship better. You see we the parents are not the ones who abandoned the parent child relationship, our children did. They abandoned the relationship when they stopped respecting us and instead chose to blame us for all that is screwed up in their lives.</p><p></p><p>I would love to have a better relationship with my son but until he understands that I have clear boundaries for what that would be, it will not happen. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Acacia!! ((HUGS)) to you......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 746841, member: 18516"] Oh Acacia, I know the anguish you feel all too well. I wish I could say that at some point the worry goes away completely but it doesn't. I can tell you that there comes a point when it's much easier to not wallow in it. Just last night my husband asked me if I had heard anything from our son, had he posted anything on Facebook. I told him no. It's right at a month since we have heard anything from him. I know that he was to be finished with his parole on Feb 15th and would be done with the half way house. I also know that he did not plan well for when he would be done. It's my guess that he's back to wandering and couch surfing, basically being homeless. I live with the knowledge that I may never hear from him again. I don't like it but I do accept it. While my son was in the half way house he did tell me that he was attending AA meetings and that he would keep up with them after he was done with his parole. While I hope that's true I do not pin my hopes on it. I know my son too well. I feel your pain and I know what you are going through. I'm so sorry!! I would not wish this kind of pain and anguish on anyone. My son also has told me before "Mom, we really need to work on our relationship" but I know what he really means. He wants things to go back to the way they were before when I would enable him and allow him to manipulate me. Here's the thing, if my son were really serious about improving our relationship then he wouldn't have to say it, instead he would start doing the work to make our relationship better. You see we the parents are not the ones who abandoned the parent child relationship, our children did. They abandoned the relationship when they stopped respecting us and instead chose to blame us for all that is screwed up in their lives. I would love to have a better relationship with my son but until he understands that I have clear boundaries for what that would be, it will not happen. Hang in there Acacia!! ((HUGS)) to you...... [/QUOTE]
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