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General Parenting
Social difficulties/loner by choice--what do you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 468047" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is a tough question. Is she on the autism spectrum? My son is getting more social and reaches out more, but he has always preferred his own company and often pretended he couldn't play if kids dropped over. I'd hear him say, "Um, no, my mom won't let me play now." When I asked him about it, he'd say, "I didn't want to play with him now." He has always had a group of friends at school who have lunch together, a mixture of Special Education kids and regular geeks. But he never saw them much outside of school. Now that he is eighteen and at home, although we normally just let him be alone, aside from school (he is a senior), we also take him to Special Olympics, which was a great place for him to do an outside activity with others. I do think it's good for everyone to sometimes be with people. But you can't force a loner to be sociable. Some kids are natural social butterflies who love to be with people and some aren't. You are what you are...</p><p></p><p>As a loner myself,who is uncomfortable around most people and has to force herself to keep in contact with friends, I also know that people w ho are intrinsically loners REALLY have to feel a connection to somebody else in order to able to enjoy their company. It can't just be "the girl who plays in the same park as mine." It has to be..."Wow, I really LIKE this person. We have a lot in common. We have good chemistry!" I'd rather be alone than with somebody I have to force myself to converse with...and feel awkward and clumsy. It's a lot like work rather than pleasure. Does this help?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 468047, member: 1550"] This is a tough question. Is she on the autism spectrum? My son is getting more social and reaches out more, but he has always preferred his own company and often pretended he couldn't play if kids dropped over. I'd hear him say, "Um, no, my mom won't let me play now." When I asked him about it, he'd say, "I didn't want to play with him now." He has always had a group of friends at school who have lunch together, a mixture of Special Education kids and regular geeks. But he never saw them much outside of school. Now that he is eighteen and at home, although we normally just let him be alone, aside from school (he is a senior), we also take him to Special Olympics, which was a great place for him to do an outside activity with others. I do think it's good for everyone to sometimes be with people. But you can't force a loner to be sociable. Some kids are natural social butterflies who love to be with people and some aren't. You are what you are... As a loner myself,who is uncomfortable around most people and has to force herself to keep in contact with friends, I also know that people w ho are intrinsically loners REALLY have to feel a connection to somebody else in order to able to enjoy their company. It can't just be "the girl who plays in the same park as mine." It has to be..."Wow, I really LIKE this person. We have a lot in common. We have good chemistry!" I'd rather be alone than with somebody I have to force myself to converse with...and feel awkward and clumsy. It's a lot like work rather than pleasure. Does this help? [/QUOTE]
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